The “best” handgun will be different for everybody, since we all have different needs, comfort levels, likes/dislikes, etc. when it comes to firearms. The best advice I can give is to go to your local gun shop/shooting range and try out different guns and see what feels comfortable for you personally to shoot and to carry.
Don’t worry too much about the wrist - I’m a fairly petite woman and firing a .45 doesn’t hurt my wrists at all. If you want something that doubles as a concealed-carry weapon, however, it’ll probably be easier to find a compact, easy to conceal gun in 9mm or .38.
Some of the guys I’ve dated didn’t grow up around guns, and I like taking them to the range and introducing them to the gun culture.
Poor deprived guys! I'll bet they are impressed when you whip out the pistola. That'll make an impression! Good on your for breaking them into our world.
I didn’t grow up around then and I still love them.