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I don't want to bring your DUFU down, but I'd like to ask Mr. John Edwards some questions. I doubt he's a lurker or a DUFU pingee, and I think these things called "Open Letters" are silly because why would a VIP read something from a nobody like me but here goes.

Dear John,

I made fun of your $400 haircuts and Pink Sapphire facials. It was all in good fun because real men don't usually do that sort of thing; for a real man ten bucks for a haircut is pretty steep and facial means something different to us. But being a real man is something more that that superficial crap.

What really makes a man a man is strength. Not physical or mental strength but moral strength. For those of us who live in the "other America" and don't want your Socialist help, it is the strength to get up in the morning and drive to work and drive home to our families and do that again and again and again.

For some of us, we come home to a wife who is exhausted, nauseated, devastated from having poison pumped into her veins to kill this vile disease. A wife so selfless that she's worried more about how YOU feel and how the KIDS feel than how SHE feels.

All right, answer me these questions:

When Elizabeth would get dressed in the morning and gasp for air afterwards, did that affect you?

Has hearing Elizabeth's gasping for air made you cry, just thinking about it?

When Elizabeth cried and said she had so much to tell her children but so little time, did that affect you?

Have you met Elizabeth's oncology nurses and see them as the angels that they are?

You don't have to answer those questions. If you ever did any one of them, you never would have cheated on her, you [I'm going to just type roughly the same number of letters that the trail of obscene epithets I want to throw at John Edwards. It's quite a lot. This is not just adultery; this is undue stress on Elizabeth, a cancer patient. This is a lot of letters; I don't think there are enough swear words in the English language to cover all these letter. We're going to need other languages for all the nasty names.]