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To: CommonsensicalCat
Nope, Jesus died for us all. He doesn’t hate you - he didn’t come to judge you...he came to save you.

Dude, you don't understand. I got a direct call, from Jesus Himself, on my cell phone.

Larry: Hello?

Jesus: Hello. Is this Larry?

Larry: Yeah.

Jesus: Hi, It's Jesus.

Larry: Jesus who?

Jesus: (annoyed) Jesus CHRIST.... you know, the one who died for your sins.

Larry: Oh! Hey! That was cool. I appreciate ya, dawg.

Jesus: Yeah, well, I didn't die for yours.

Larry: Huh?

Jesus: Yeah. I think you suck.

Larry: Whoa!

Jesus: You suck, you smell funny, and you have a bunch of obnoxious habits. I ***ing hate your guts.

Larry: Wow!

Jesus: So I didn't die for your sins.

Larry: This sucks!

Jesus: Look, I gotta go. Stop calling me, okay?

Larry: You called me!

Jesus: Oh yeah.

15 posted on 10/28/2008 1:43:36 PM PDT by Lazamataz (Secondhand Aztlan Smoke causes drug addiction obesity in global warming cancer immigrant terrorists.)
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To: Lazamataz

...dude, turn yerself in to the ad mod...


17 posted on 10/28/2008 1:52:18 PM PDT by gargoyle
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To: Lazamataz
Dude, you don't understand.
I got a direct call, from Jesus Himself, on my cell phone.

Larry: Hello?

Jesus: Hello. Is this Larry?

Larry: Yeah.

Jesus: Hi, It's Jesus.

Larry: Jesus who?

Jesus: (annoyed) Jesus CHRIST.... you know, the one who died for your sins.

Larry: Oh! Hey! That was cool. I appreciate ya, dawg.

Jesus: Yeah, well, I didn't die for yours.

Larry: Huh?

Jesus: Yeah. I think you suck.

Larry: Whoa!

Jesus: You suck, you smell funny, and you have a bunch of obnoxious habits. I ***ing hate your guts.

Larry: Wow!

Jesus: So I didn't die for your sins.

Larry: This sucks!

Jesus: Look, I gotta go. Stop calling me, okay?

Larry: You called me!

Jesus: Oh yeah.

LOL - I'm sorry I shouldn't laugh; but seriously, there's times I feel the same way. (Like when I got deployed to Iraq.) The truth is that Satan WANTS you to doubt, and disbelieve, and spend your time worrying and miserable.

Read the sermon on the mount (around Mat 6: 28-29), Jesus talks about something similar, the flowers in a field don't sew or toil and yet they're beyond even Solomon's greatness.
You're smart, you'll see the connection.

20 posted on 10/28/2008 2:19:18 PM PDT by OneWingedShark (Q: Why am I here? A: To do Justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with my God.)
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To: Lazamataz; Larry Lucido

Sorry to hear this Larry !........:o)


21 posted on 10/28/2008 2:22:39 PM PDT by Squantos (Be polite. Be professional. But have a plan to kill everyone you meet)
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