Thanks for posting..
The fool doesn’t realize the best chili comes from Cincinnati.
That’s pretty much our family recipe, also. Easy, fast and good.
Been making this chili for 35 years. We made this because it was very cheap and we ate it for days. Made the $$$ last til payday. If you are in the south, we put spaghetti noodles in it too. Stretched it even farther. Still make it that way, even tho we can afford a lot more now.
Cheaters Chili ...
1 can dark kidney beans, drained
Must be a misprint here, if it's got beans in it, it's not chili, it's stew.
Ahh...real Chili does not have beans. Beans are a side dish.
Anyone got a good Chili recipe that uses pork instead of beef (yeah, I know: “Heresy!”). However, my wife is Hindu, so the whole beef thing doesn’t really go over well. I know that the basic recipe is pretty simple, so it might work, but Pork cooks so differently from beef that I didn’t know if there might be changes required.
1 ½ Lbs chuck or round beef
1 ½ Lbs lean pork
¼ lb good smoked bacon
One medium yellow onion
6 to eight cloves garlic
fresh chili peppers: a habanero, a couple of poblanos, a couple of jalapenos and a couple of fresnos
dried whole chili peppers: four to six New Mexico red
2 tbs cumin (Or more if you like)
2 tbs oregano
2 tbs paprika
a little salt and black pepper
NOTE: NO TOMATOES - NO BEANS
Chop the onion and garlic
Slice the fresh peppers and remove the seeds
NOTE: wear rubber gloves and safety glasses. I’m not kidding.
Cut the beef and pork into one inch cubes and trim off as much fat as possible
Chop up the bacon and cook in a large skillet
Set aside the cooked bacon and sauté the beef and pork in the bacon grease.
Remove the beef and pork and place in a large stew pot.
Sauté the onion and garlic.
Add the sliced peppers when the onion is translucent.
Add the spices and stir together over the heat for a minute or two then add it all to the stew pot.
Add the dried peppers, add water to cover, cover the pot and simmer for a few hours.
Let cool and skim off the excess grease (Or not).
Best if allowed to sit, refrigerated, for a couple of days before serving.
Serve with pinto beans and tortillas.(And cold Lone Star)
Uncle Tom’s Real Cowboy Beans
2 cups dried pinto beans one ham hock one medium yellow onion four cloves garlic salt and pepper to taste
Soak the beans in water overnight, then rinse. Throw everything in a slow cooker for twenty four hours.
Serve with anything. If the chili is too hot for you mix in some beans.
Notes From An Inexperienced Chili Taster Named FRANK, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast:
“Recently I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment, and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table asking directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy, and besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted.
Here are the scorecards from the event:
Chili # 1: Mike’s Maniac Mobster Monster Chili
- JUDGE ONE: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.
- JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
- FRANK: Holy sh*t, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that’s the worst one. These Texans are crazy.
Chili # 2: Arthur’s Afterburner Chili
- JUDGE ONE: Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.
- JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
- FRANK: Keep this out of reach of children! I’m not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.
Chili # 3: Fred’s Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili
- JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.
- JUDGE TWO: A bean-less chili, a bit salty, good use of red peppers.
- FRANK: Call the EPA, I’ve located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now, get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I’m getting sh*t-faced from all the beer.
Chili # 4: Bubba’s Black Magic
- JUDGE ONE: Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
- JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
- FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it, is it possible to burn-out taste buds? Sally, the bar maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills; that 300 lb. b*tch is starting to look HOT, just like this nuclear-waste I’m eating. Is chili an aphrodisiac?
Chili # 5: Linda’s Legal Lip Remover
- JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
- JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
- FRANK: My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from a pitcher. I wonder if I’m burning my lips off? It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks!
Chili # 6: Vera’s Very Vegetarian Variety
- JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice and peppers.
- JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
- FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric inferno flames. I crapped myself when I farted and I’m worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that slut Sally, she must be kinkier than I thought. Can’t feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone!
Chili # 7: Susan’s Screaming Sensation Chili
- JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
- JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a canof chili peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about Judge Number 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
- FRANK: You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn’t feel a damn thing. I’ve lost the sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava-like poop to match my damn shirt. At least during the autopsy they’ll know what killed me. I’ve decided to stop breathing, it’s too painful. Screw it, I’m not getting any
oxygen anyway. If I need air, I’ll just suck it in through the 4 inch hole in my stomach.
Chili # 8: Helen’s Mount Saint Chili
- JUDGE ONE: A perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili, safe for all, not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
- JUDGE TWO: This final entry is a good, balanced chili, neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge Number 3 passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he’s going to make it. Poor Yank, wonder how he’d have reacted to a really hot chili?
- FRANK: (editor’s note: Judge #3 was unable to report)