Posted on 11/01/2009 3:04:16 AM PST by Scanian
When Owen Schmitt, fearsome fullback for the Seattle Seahawks, opened a game last month with a presentation of his manly bona fides that consisted of skull-bashing himself with his helmet until blood ran down his forehead like it was the lobby of the Overlook Hotel, what should your response have been?
(a) Laughter
(b) Alarm
(c) Disbelief
Trick question, The answer is (d) Nostalgia. Owen Schmitt, for being the snarling, sweaty avatar of pumped-up, hoarse-throated, brain-damaged heavy metal manhood, did you ever know that you’re my hero? You are the idiot wind beneath my wings. Owen, my good hombre, your breed is dying, but at least it is going out with the battle cry of a true Hun.
(Excerpt) Read more at nypost.com ...
I figured he had been hit one to many times already when he did that. I wonder if the league required some brain scans?
“There’s a head sized dent in the wall of my office next to my computer at work. It’s for when I read the political news.”
I would have figured it was from Windows 98 lockups. (:-)
The Mongols had better accuracy at 420 meters than Olympians do at 70? I doubt that.
Even firing an arrow such a distance was considered a remarkable feat, and it is doubtful that it was ever done with any consistency with arrows heavy enough to have military effectiveness.
Military archery beyond 100 meters at most was always an "area effect" weapon. Massed archers fired at a massed enemy. At such ranges there was no attempt to hit an individual target. Also no need to try.
By gawd, he’s right!
No shower for me today!
Honey! Go fix me a sammich!
There are lots of “Mike Fink” tales of amazing feats in ancient civilizations, such as Greek Olympians long jumping 35 feet, etc. Such stories need to be taken with a very large grain of salt.
Very true.
I recently read a book about Caesar’s conquest of Gaul in which the author claimed his army regularly marched 30 to 40 miles a day, off roads, carrying 60 to 80 pounds each. Then built the standard Roman fort at the end of each day.
I could only conclude the author has never walked any distance with a pack.
I suspect the Roman armies seldom covered much more than 20 miles in a day.
What??? Legends grow??? :)
They surely do, though that fact seems to have escaped the writer’s notice.
I’m amazed that he praised Owen Schmitt’s head bashing considering all the literature that has come out recently about dementia among old football players.
I used to do similar things in my youth, like dent lockers with my head to act rough and tough. Now I have a hell of a time remembering people’s names.
Any connection? I have no doubt.
Nah. They did calculus. They just didn't write it down. Calculus was a snap; it was pencils that stumped them.
Or from Visa (Windows Mini-ME).
Yeah, take your pick. 98 was really a hellish program though. I must have had to reload my whole computer a half a dozen times.
i suspect you are correct since the ancients were not anything like properly nourished when marching, and they were certainly smaller than ourselves. the archery tale is just plain absurd. methinks the writer has a serious obsession with “the good ol’ days.”
I hear ya, I moved on to XP. When I get a new machine I’ll move up again. (Remember: No upgrade will go unpunished.)
Once upon a time I amazed my friends by cracking freshly harvested chowder clams on my noggin. Yes, of course beer and testosterone were involved...lol.
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