Napolitano Suggests New Homeland Security Measures For Airlines

Elective Decision ^ | 01/04/2010 | Chris Davis

[paulycy]

Wear your underwear on your head so they can check.

Maybe all luggage should be sent by fedex in advance and no one allowed to wear any shoes, hats or clothing within 1 mile of any airport, even if you're not going there.

[cripplecreek]

I’ve got a better idea.

Airlines should offer minimal security flights for people who don’t want to be screened or profiled. Flight crews should be heavily armed and firearms considered carry on luggage.

[fatnotlazy]

Very funny piece. But whatever measures the TSA and Homeland Security do come up with will probably be just as silly. This is what happens when you don’t take threats seriously.

Thanks for posting that piece. I needed a good laugh.

[Darnright]

>Flying to get somewhere is still a luxury we can do without. <

Tell that to the grieving family who is rushing to the opposite coast, desperate to beat their loved one’s impending death. Tell that to the businessman who is doing everything in his power to keep his company afloat, so hundreds more don’t lose their jobs.

While I agree that limiting flights to those absolutely necessary would go a long way to sending a message to this bunch of idiots in homeland “security”, I think you’re solution is wishful thinking at best.

[E.G.C.]

BTTT

[Darnright]

Correction, “I think you’re” should have been, “I think your”.

[writer33]

Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading, fatnotlazy. I appreciate it.

[writer33]

Thanks for the bump, E.G.C.

[Quix]

Don't get caught off guard with your pants down flying the unfriendly skies.

or is it . . . don't get caught with your pants up?

Liberals are so confusing.

[Lazamataz]

Please don’t take offense, because I mean to praise you for this one, but this is one of your first efforts that has made me smile. :)

[Lokibob]

I was on that flight, leaving Las Vegas, last night.

....Bob

[Quix]

I thought that one of the priority new rules was that passengers would have to show up 8 hours ahead of time in order to be able to complete the four hours of

in class training in the

“UNDERWEAR WAVE” procedure.

And anyone not able to ‘wave’ their underwear—either in the down OR the up position

IN UNISON

would be automatically considered a terrorist and removed from the flight list.

However, I’ve been wrong before.

[writer33]

Please don’t take offense

Too late. I'm uncontrollably sobbing in a corner now. LOL!

Seriously though, thank you for the nice comments. I do appreciate 'em. Usually, my stuff is too heavy.

[writer33]

or is it . . . don't get caught with your pants up?

We definitely want the pants up. I am now not visualizing pants down. LOL!

[LS]

I think I did a flight like that while in the rock band!

[Quix]

Went to a nudist beach once to try and find more atheists for my dissertation questionnaires.

I agree with you. Up is better. Much better.

[wbill]

Almost, but not quite, completely satirical.

I like the idea of interrogating Sen Chucky.

[writer33]

I bet you there are plenty that would line up to interrogate Sen. Chucky. Glad you enjoyed it though. Thanks for reading, wbill.

[right way right]

No problem , I don't believe in underwear anyway.
What kind of fashion statement is something you wear no one sees?

Its pointless.

[writer33]

You do have a point.