[llevrok]

I played football with a guy named John who was huge. He weighed 300 pounds - and that was in high school.

After he graduated, he met the love of his life. Her name was Edith.

They became quite serious and John told me he wanted to marry Edith but she was not looking to be a young widow due to his heavy weight and refused.

I told him if he really loved her, he'd have to lose weight. "It's simple, John. You can't have your cake and Edith too."

[smokingfrog]

A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, “I must have taken Leif off my census.”