Black Day

http://wmbriggs.com/blog/?p=3223 ^ | William M Briggs

[mattstat]

Here’s a bit of trivia that will help you win bar bets. When is the only time of year in which you can see women acting like idiots on television commercials? “Black Friday” sales announcements. The remainder of the year is given over to men to play clueless fools.

But for a spare week before this great national holiday, which now surpasses in festive spirit the day of feasting and family which used to be Thanksgiving, women are portrayed as rabid, raving lunatics whose only goal in life, whose very purpose for being, is to march bleary eyed to our cash cathedrals to buy what she is told to desire.

One advertisement featured a woman wrapped in alarm clocks manically humming a—I can’t bring myself to call it “Christmas”—tune, obsessively checking the time to be sure she woke in time to join the pre-dawn crush. Another showed a wild-eyed female throwing herself full force into the glass doors of a store which had the effrontery to remain closed. Her body flattened out and became sticker-like, a permanent addition to the panel, only her eyes remained animate. They were filled with terror that she was missing the sales. Other ads were worse.

When I was a boy, I recall Thanksgiving-day news reports showing churches setting up meals for those who couldn’t afford them, clips from troops stationed overseas saying, “Hi, mom!”, and so forth. Now, besides football and the weather, local news was given over entirely to ratcheting up “Black Friday” mania. The phrase “Stay tuned for some tips to make your ‘Black Friday a success’ was a commonly used. Success? Other reporters focused on hard hitting stories of “What items are hot this ‘Black Friday.’” You wouldn’t want to buy what others aren’t, would you?..

[mom4melody]

This chick is not leaving the house today (Black Friday). I’m finished with my Christmas shopping.

I’ll spend the day wrapping the gifts I’ve already purchased, trim the tree and enjoying leftovers.

Although I might sneak a peek on some online sales....

[mmercier]

They make fun of me when I clean up after work, using too many towels and whistle to obtain that perfect streak free shine. The beta reticulans implanted this need into my consciousness one night while gazing through the telescope, I think.