I had a friend just like you from Vietnam. He too suffered PTSD and heard the voices, saw the people and the invented movies that played in his mind over and over.
He had two purple hearts and a bunch of other medals and commendations. I never knew about them until I helped his father clean out the house.
This happened when the demons and monsters that preyed on him for 30 years finally killed him.
He had been an exemplary mentor to others suffering from PTSD, but one day he decided to stop the medication he was taking that made him stable.
He still went to the classes but he stopped taking the pills that helped him cope because they made him feel dead.
One day he said some funny things and we all laughed at his jokes. Thing is he was planning his exit the whole time and telling us. We just didn’t know.
At his memorial, with the VA and the section that deals with PTSD, his doctor and mentor broke down so hard in tears it took him 30 minutes to compose himself enough to tell us my friends work was beyond amazing and it is so unexplainable that he died.
You see, he made one phone to another friend, leaving a voicemail about how everything had been so wonderful between them and it was a beautiful day.
Approximately 30 minutes later the demons that had haunted him for 30 years decided to kill him and he put a gun to his head and ended the pain.
PTSD is very real and the things those brave men do and see are unbearable for the rest of us.
Thank you for your story.
I am Sorry for your loss of your friend.
Thank you for posting this. Perhaps it will offset the moronic, ignorant and pompous jerks that are posting here such as whatever the poster Red6 is...who posted this gem...
“You are a carnivore and killing comes natural to us. In fact, it sort of feels good, but you have to be careful who you tell that too since we’ve become very gay as a society. Likewise, death is part of life so is risk, pain, fear......... Frankly, the “feelings” people talk about are natural and just like MOST kids put on Ritalin a few years back were diagnosed as ill, it’s a fad and mostly based on junk science. Over time these feelings will fade, you come to realize that they are part of who you are and in a way make you stronger, not weaker. It’s like the first time you hunted and shot a deer, boar....etc. You learn that “you” are king of the jungle. You, have taken life and are among the few that hunted the ultimate prey. You are the sheepdog that killed the wolf, and unlike most the sheep, you’re the strong one. “
I guess there are fearful people out there..even on Freeper.
Maybe just defending against their own fear of “Mental illness”. People like that just can’t handle that anyone coudl have any kind of emotional problems...just too scariy for them to admit.