If I were you, I’d file for disability right now. You and your wife deserve some time together, and the future is uncertain, if you are teetering “on the edge of disaster” as you say. You may or may not be aware that, even if you qualify the first time you are examined by the government doctors (and you may not qualify, no matter how sick you actually are) there is still a six months wait before beginning benefits.
I’m not saying give up and go on the dole. But please, listen to your wife out of love and respect for her...she must be worried about you.
And—God bless you, FRiend. We are in His loving hands, no matter what.
Thank you. I appreciate that.