I think the author makes some valid points, but she is over applying the broad brush by dismissing the whole idea of girls wanting to find their definition as female, which is a phase many of them apparently go through when they are about 3-5 years old.
It is amazing how many want to venture a negative opinion directly to my 3 year old about this very topic (mostly middle aged never married females as it turns out). Amazing that they have such insight into her. I tell them that we have no issue if she wants to wear a pink dress when she accepts the Nobel for her work in nuclear physics.