Being gay is likely genetic.
My late (and wonderful) wife's family, as we learned during our forty plus years together, produced three to four gay boys.
My gay son had a very-caring personality.
Thank you for caring.
It is not genetic.
This link will tell you all you need to know if you click the various links at the thread. There are countless numbers of former homosexuals. There are no former black people or white people; there are people are were homosexual and are no longer.
People can and do leave the “gay” life.
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2730140/posts
Not born this way: The facts, plus help available
Save California ^ | Various authors
The kindest and most loving thing a person can do for a homosexual is tell them that there is a way out and give them some info on various organizations that can help them.
If homosexuality was genetic, identical twins would be either gay or straight. However, homosexual behavior tends not to run in both twins.
I'm sorry for your loss and your years of pain. However you can love a sinner without enabling them or accepting their mistakes.