Posted on 03/13/2012 7:26:14 AM PDT by MNDude
I noticed how many old ‘friends’ were either pregnant or married. As I stared down my one-bedroom apartment and a life that lacked both a serious relationship and even the glimmer of a baby, I deactivated my profile once more, then proceeded to have the first big breakdown I had had in a long time. I felt completely alone. I felt abandoned by something I couldn’t define. So when I went to see my therapist the following day to be greeted by news of her pregnancy, it just seemed like an additional smack in the face.
I stared at my therapist as she glowed, like pregnant women do, and hated her with every ounce of my being. And I told her so.
I know it’s selfish to hate my therapist for her own good news. I know I’m steeped in both jealousy and fear, but that doesn’t help me shake it. The very sight of her sitting across from me with her second trimester baby belly seems like bragging; when she rubs the palm of her hand across her whole, complete stomach, my own life seems to be a smattering of fragments by comparison. Here’s a woman who helps me with my issues for 45 minutes once, sometimes twice a week, and I can’t be happy for her, and the worst part is before this, I loved her.
Honestly, I’m not sure if I can continue seeing her under these circumstances. The pain becomes more tangible for every day that I’m forced to grapple with yet another woman in my life who’s on the road to motherhood. Frankly, I don’t think I’m stable enough to accept it at this point in my life.
And did I mention she’s even having twins?
(Excerpt) Read more at blisstree.com ...
Further evidence liberals are simply miserable people by nature. Instead of seeking out ways to improve their own lot, they cast envy at others.
BTW, wasn't Obama supposed to be the Messiah, Father, Husband and Lover to all these people? Who needs a glimmer of a baby or a relationship when there's the eminent glimmer of Obama, upon whose image all would get that tingly feeling?
What happened to all that "hope?"
Amanda Chatel
This Is Why I’m Single: I’m In Love With My Best Friend With Benefits
Friends aren’t supposed to have this level of turmoil, this strange effect on each other, this on-again off-again torrid up and down drama…but here it is, and here I stand in the middle of it.
http://dating.redeyechicago.com/date-report/author/amanda-chatel/
I’ve written about this topic, about Christoffer from many different angles, in the hopes of trying to understand exactly what I’m doing to myself. I’ve also made the fact clear to him that my friendship with him stands in the way of me dating, really dating without this obnoxious comparison of others to him. There is no other like him, and I need to understand that while someone else may not be able to replicate or live up to all the things in Christoffer which I love endlessly, nor will I ever be able to love them the way I love him, a relationship with Christoffer is just not in the cards. And honestly, I don’t want it to be.
And we have the winner. I surpassed the big 40 not married and no children (and no hope for either at the time). I believe my faith in God and following His path has made it OK. Among my relatives and friends there is a little baby boom going on right now. It’s fun. I’m loving the pictures, the fat bellies, the frantic making of little gifts. I don’t know what’s in store for me and I may be a wife and mom some time, it just won’t be the wedding a 25-30 and first kid at 32.
Sounds more like NUTS...
We say no to babies and yes to NYC
More city women are taking a pass on the mommy path
By SARA STEWART
August 1, 2011
Amanda Chatel always dreamed she’d get married and have kids.
Then she turned 10.
“I realized I wanted to be a writer in New York City,” says the 33-year-old East Villager, an editor for the career women’s site The Grindstone. “That changed everything. I wanted a life that sparkled. I wanted a life that wasn’t conventional. My sister, who’s two years younger, is married and has two kids. I just look at her life, and it’s really my worst nightmare.”
So much for the idea that every woman’s dying to have a baby.
This is a zero sum world view. There is only so much happiness and success in the world and when someone else has success or happiness, there is less of a chance for the zero sum character. So the zero sumist hates and resents light and embraces darkness. They are on a mission to kill love so that their darkness pervails.
Every leftist group operates against the good and inspiration of others from a view of their own limitations and darkness.
You are spot on!
YOU! Sir....are CORRECT!
In Russia, Putin requires every high school kid to read “One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich”, by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn. This book was a TOTAL game-changer as it was published in the Soviet Union and detailed life in the Gulag, in an ingenious first-person way. From that moment on, the days of the Stalin-style gulags were numbered.
Likewise, maybe every high school girl should read this piece...to get some perspective on what life is like when a feminist reaches age 40.
I think posters are being too hard on this woman. She is pretty much admitting she’s a basket case; she writes about envying women who have what she wants, which is sad. It takes guts to admit you’ve been lying about what you really want out of fear you’ll never get it. I think it’s obvious that she doesn’t really “hate” pregnant women. Rather, she envies them. We should pray this woman find the path to true happiness, rather than sneer at her grief.
While you can do that to some extent if you choose to live the life of a welfare mom, not that many upper-class libs want to do that.
another stupid beotch
Very well said. What can we do about it but speak up?
This reminds me of a Living Color skit where Jim Carrey wrote a book titled “She’s Having a Baby. Why can’t I?”. He gets into an argument with another author who is trying to out do him. In the end he shouts that it’s a ploy to pick up Chicks.
She has earned her low self esteem. Stereotypes exist for a reason.
This story is NOT an isolated case. My daughter married late(36) and at the time she had a group of single women friends that had been close since college. One, was married and divorced and had a child. The women who were not in a relationship at the time just stopped speaking to my daughter and when she got pregnant, that finished everything. One took the desperate step of allowing herself to get pregnant and become a single mother, but still doesn’t want have anything to with my daughter and her family.
My daughter has said that her friends dream of getting married and becoming a stay at home mom. She said that they would all gladly give up their careers to be able to be a stay at home mom.
I had to go to the source to convince myself that this wasn’t a parody (that is, an intentional one).
I think there is a different problem underlying all of this.
That is, that not every person is supposed to get a mate and have children. Society demands it, even insists on it, but there are many reasons for many people to not marry or have children.
And the important part is that society punishes them for their failure to conform.
In old China, it was recognized that people who remained unmarried had two options. Men could join the military, and women could become what were called “Amah”. Often they were such because their parents could not afford a dowry.
Amah were not servants, but respectable single women who lived with another family. They would perform some chores, such as watching after children, cooking and a little light cleaning, in exchange for room and board and a small stipend, and that they remain single. They were treated as if they were a beloved Aunt.
This is because Chinese polite society recognized that unless they were married, women faced poverty and starvation, with little other alternative than to become prostitutes, which was far below the station of a polite woman. Real servants were lower class only.
But there are no real equivalent places for unmarried men and women in polite society in modern America. They have no cultural support mechanism. Often others assume incorrectly that they are either homosexuals, ugly, or mentally ill, which is not true in most cases.
And the real zinger is that there are almost certainly going to be a lot more of them in the future.
Why? Because the number one cause of lifetime bachelorhood among Americans is because they were not raised in social situations with peers of the opposite gender. There are no such social mechanisms in America: certainly not school or church, where children are directed to do other things by adults.
This also causes many relationship problems among those that do have relationships, and contributes much to a high divorce rate.
Another major reason for lifetime bachelorhood is exhaustion. Many people just do not have the energy to find a mate and have children. They are inherently just too weak. And while they may not even realize this, they just cannot bring themselves to do what has to be done to find a mate and have children.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.