Skip to comments.The Heart Beat: What Does it Mean to Ditch Your Wedding Ring?
Posted on 04/04/2012 11:36:32 PM PDT by thecodont
While most of the women I know wouldnt stand for it, theres been a lot of buzz around husbands opting not to wear their wedding bands.
According to some experts, people just dont value the symbolism in a ring like they used to.
I know Im married, everybody else knows Im married. I just dont have no desire to wear it, at all.
Richard Rhodes has been happily married for 15 years and says he hasnt worn his ring since he tied the knot.
I took it off right after the reception and I aint seen it since, said Rhodes.
But the wedding ring is not just a symbol of love for married couples; its also an off-limits sign for singles.
Psychiatrist Gary Malone says that when a man decides not to wear his ring, its usually because he wants to present himself as not married. We didnt need a psychiatrist to tell us that, but it helps.
He gets all the payoff of presenting himself as single, while he actually gets the other payoff of having a wife at home, Malone says.
(Excerpt) Read more at living.msn.com ...
Been married 13 years and have worn a ring since day one. I knew she wanted me to going in and was okay with it. I agree with the shrink, the only reason not to wear one is to be able to claim you’re single. The only reason you would want to do that is to cheat on your wife. I’m not going to do that. Part of the reason I was able to marry such a wonderful woman is her first husband cheated on her.
And YOU are a jerk.
When my husband and I got married, almost 40 years now, people thought it was a really big deal he was wearing a wedding ring, even the newspaper announcement said “double ring ceremony”.
I know people that are machinists that do not wear rings because they say its dangerous.
Not sure its a big deal, except between the married couple.
If you are married, be married. If you aren't, be careful or celibate.
The reason why people don’t see the ring as important, like they used to, is because they don’t see the marriage promises as important as they used to.
The only acceptable reason, in my mind, to remove the ring is either job or hobby related where injury could be the result or if you’re doing something like weight-training or martial arts or something similar.
At least in my books.
Conductivity and damage.
Its harder to get new bootie with a ring for sure and its just useless baggage anyway.
Been married 25 years. Don’t like rings, and don’t wear em.
I don’t need jewelry to remind me of my vows.
Quit the name calling. Makes you look classless.
A married man always has his tail between his legs.:)
As far presenting oneself as single by not wearing the ring.. please quit projecting. I don't cheat but if I did the first thing I'd do is tell the bimbo I was married and that wasn't going to change. Who would want the hassle of not one but two lies? Plus letting the paramour think there might be a future would be stupid.
I wear no jewelry.. safety.
Ditching my wedding band would be the straightest path to the divorce court, in my house.
In my observation, people who don’t care one way or the other about their wedding bands, are also the type where the wife keeps her maiden name, or hyphenates her last name. Maybe she even goes by ‘Ms’ instead of Mrs. In other words, they’ve got a ‘progressive’ marriage.
My father was an electrician and has “worn” his wedding ring on his keychain for 30+ years! ... a thick old gold band with a tiny diamond chip, tucked between his truck and house keys.
A lot of the guys who work on oil rigs don’t wear rings (mash one and lose a finger while someone is trying to cut the ring off). I’m an exception, but I’m outrageously careful about pinch points and electricity, too.
People don't see their vows as important because they don't see their elected officials taking their oaths of office as important.
Anything goes, now. Say what you need to, now, to get what you want, now.
There are some occupations which make it dangerous to wear a ring or any type of jewelery. Electricians, machinist, any kind of manufacturing. They usually ask you to remove jewelery and put it in your pocket. Although when you take your vows you should wear your ring...
What a load of BS in the article!
I learned early on not to wear rings. At 18, I was in the catapults division on an aircraft carrier. I saw a shipmate fall and slip off of the deck onto the catwalk. His ring finger caught on the deck edge and ripped his finger off.
After my Navy service, I also worked in facilities where I ran lathes and it was definitely not safe to wear any rings.
I’m sure that a certain faction of males AND females stash their rings when out “catting” around, but the majority of males who don’t wear rings do so from lessons learned to avoid injuries.
If I had a wedding ring, I’d lose it. In fact, if I had the money I spent (or that others had spent) on every ring or watch that I have lost over the years, It’d be a pretty big chunk of change.
I just don’t like anything on my hands. I take them off without even thinking about it and walk away from them. I’m just as bad with lighters and combs. Managed to lose a 40,000 yen Dunhill lighter that a gal gave me some time back.
Boy was she upset!
My parents have been married for over 30 years and dont have rings. And no she doesnt use a madian name.
Rings are symbols, they are not the marriage themselves. Just ask some Hollywood couple that stayed married for less than a year after buying 20k worth of rings.
Work shirt, blue jeans, cowboy boots and Stetson......Ready to go.
Dittoes, bro. No jewelry anywhere on my bod......super-active life precludes it...PLUS, a ring gives my finger a headache.....and totally unthinkingly I pull it off at every convenience not even knowing I’m doing it....lost several thousand $$$ of rings given to me before I gave up......
When women hit on me thinking I am single (not infrequent), I quickly let them know how much I love my wife of 39 years, show them her beautiful pic on my iPhone wallpaper, and tell them about our great 8 kids.....shuts them down 10x faster than seeing a ring since the ring means so little to so many men today.......
I have never had a problem or approached more by women by not having a ring. One guy I worked with before I was married was telling me to get a ring, that I would get more women that way. I would be more "dangerous" and "forbidden fruit" to women. I could see his point. For married women wanting a fling, I could see a married man being more desirable.
So with all that said, I found this whole post interesting, because I just have ordered a ring. My employer offers a whole bunch of different gifts for a 15 year anniversary. I decided to get a wedding band looking ring. I am still in the electronics biz, and I'm guessing I won't wear it much. But I figured I'd give it a whirl. I'll find out now if I get hit on a lot with the ring.
Since hubby runs dangerous equipment all day long *and* is a welder who commonly works with ‘hot’ electrical components and wiring, wearing his ring could mean the loss of a finger, hand or worse.
I lost weight after I got married and mine just falls off unless I keep my hand elevated at all times.
Are we spoiling to cheat?
[and unlike most women, I hate wearing jewelry, especially if I’m using woodworking equipment or up to my elbows in paint or ink]
My ex -never- took his off and he nearly killed me.
Shrinks tend to project their own madness upon others.
I do believe if a man receives a ring during the wedding he should keep it on except if he is working construction or in a manufacturing shop. Rings are dangerous things to have on in an industrial setting.
After work, however, he should put it back on.
Some women concern themselves with the silliest sh**.
I wore my wedding ring for less than a year before I got tired of it and took it off for good. It started choking my finger, cutting off the circulation. That was over 25 years ago. Anyway, look what happened to Neil Armstrong.
I hyphenated my maiden because it’s what I’ve created art under for 40-some years.
Nobody knows my work under his name.
I couldn’t possibly be more “retro”, otherwise.
My dad hack-sawed my old birthstone ring off me when I was teenager.
Sure wouldn’t want to repeat that again.
My wife and I have been married for 40 years, don't think a little piece of thin, round metal had a lot to do with that accomplishment.
Hubby and I have been married for 10 years but together for 19.
We’re more mated like wolves than “married”, if that makes sense.
If an “outsider” approaches either one of us, they get a mauling from both of us.
[we’ve been hanging around with dogs too long, I think]
It probably helps some that most of our social contacts are fellow bikers and hitting on somebody’s other is simply not done...well, more than once, anyway....;]
I hate to admit this but my long hair once got caught in a drill [bad] and the top of my finger went through a table saw when a piece I was working on kicked back.
[very, -very- bad]
I -overcompensate- for safety, now.
Exactly. 35 years and three great kids but I rarely wear my wedding ring. At first I did but after a couple of close call when it caught in machinery I stopped wearing it.
You are a sweet baby. She must deserve you.
I guess it depends on what the man does for a living. When my Husband worked in the missle tubes on the boat, he wore his ring on a chain.
Truth is though, that he loves me and I hear it every single day, so him wearing it or not wearing his ring has always been up to him.
You must look like you are well fed. That's a sign.
As far as safety, Has anyone seen pictures of a degloved finger before? It is normal training in the Navy safety briefs and it is UGLY!
I will have been married 20 years this August, and I COMPLETELY disagree with the psychologist.
My husband hasn’t worn his wedding band since the day we got married (although it’s not like he doesn’t know where it is). The reason he NEVER wears his wedding ring has absolutely NOTHING to do with him wanting to “appear single” and EVERYTHING to do with the fact that if he forgot to take it off before work one day he might come home missing a finger or worse... BLUE-COLLAR WORKING men CAN’T be *wearing jewelry* all the time otherwise they wouldn’t be RESPONSIBLE providers - what with risking permanent inability to do their job and winding up on disability and all... IMHO this psychologist is one of those people who sits in their ivory tower proscribing judgement on issues he knows absolutely nothing about...
Doesn’t bother me a bit, and never has that he doesn’t wear his/our ring - maybe I’m just a VERY lucky woman that can actually trust her husband??? [I’m guessing this man thinks there are NO men in the world who AREN’T always thinking with their privates...]
Oh good... I was worried that folks would think I was naive or somethin’ from my last post! My husband is a machinist and NEVER wears his ring - EVER. They’ve all seen what happens when that ring gets stuck in a machine and tears off someone’s finger - I could describe it, but I don’t want to make anyone sick.
My dad and mom were faithfully married for almost 50 years - my mom died in 96 and my dad followed her in 97. My dad never had and never wore a wedding ring. My dad never owned a single piece of any type of jewelry for that matter, only wore a shirt and tie for funerals, weddings, etc. My dad worked construction so I think safety was one reason. And back when he and my mom were married, they probably couldnt afford much other than her ring and that was just a simple gold band, no engagement band, no diamonds.
I met my wife in the last semester of college. We married the following year.
I never wear my college ring.
But cannot remember when I took off my wedding band. We had our 41st Wedding Anniversary last month.
If I took it off it would still be obvious I am married. The light color of the skin under the ring and the indentation it has left with years of wearing it.
Going on 9 years. Never took it off for more than a few minutes. Leaving it off is unthinkable.
Wear another optional ring on other hand, and a watch. That’s all the jewelry I can manage.
I don’t wear a weddding ring because I hate rings.
Dad never wore his. He was an electrical engineer ... messing with electricity day in and day out was one reason. He also didn’t like wearing jewelry. He was faithful regardless.
I don’t understand the posts on here lamenting people for not wearing a ring. A ring is a symbol. That is all. Your heart and mindset of marriage are far more important.
I wear my ring. I do work at a Tech Center and when I go onto the plant floor, I take it off per regulations. I also remove it when I play pickup basketball. Other than that, I wear it all the time.
Again, it’s the heart and mindset that keep a marriage. Not an object on your finger.
I’m on my 4th ring (same wife!). Lost my first one swimming out into a lake to rescue my disoriented puppy. She was swimming in circles and wouldn’t come back to shore. It was early April in Massachusetts and the water was freezing. My fingers shrunk from the cold and my ring slipped off as I reached for her collar. Way too deep water to find it later.
Second ring was lost in Iraq. I’m a UH-60 pilot and during pre-flight I take my ring off so my fingers don’t catch on anything up on the engine deck. I would put the ring on my dog tag chain. Sometimes when I put my body armor on my dog tag chain would break. I wouldn’t know this until hours later when I took it off. So ring number 2 is in the desert somewhere.
lost ring number 3 while giving my son a bath at my parents house. It fell off the vanity and down a heating vent. Never found it.
Now I have 3 sons and I still take my 4th ring off when I give them baths. haven’t lost it yet. My wife stopped buying me new rings after number 2. So it’s a very inexpensive white gold band.
She does get upset if I forget to put it back sometimes. She knows to look for my dog tags and will usually find it there.
Himself has a huge chop saw and a horror story.
Square, very long stock of chromoly tubing, not properly clamped.
The end jumped up as the cut finished.
Then, as he always does, specifically to make me crazy, he comes into the LR and says “Honey...don’t freak out....” which of course makes me instantly freak out.
He unwraps his hand and blood is gushing from the severed fingertip.
Off we go to a hillbilly ER [seriously] where they attempt to _stitch through his finger, right through the fingernail_ in order to affix the fingertip back on.
It did stay on but deformed his finger and it’s still numb to this day.
He clamps religiously, now.
Prior to that, he was using the mill and screwdriver he’d used on the chuck was “forgotten” and when he fired up the mill, it went ripping right by his head on its way to embedding itself in the wall.
Even pros screw up now and then.
I could list my own youthful mishaps, ad nauseum but it’s not for nothing I picked “Salamander”.
Through some means a mystery to me, I can successfully regrow various body parts...such as an entire thumb tip, pulverized brain matter, the “web” between my thumb and forefinger,, an entire ankle bone, the whole top layer of my right hand, etc etc etc.
I’m not sure what my regenerative “limits” are but I’m in no hurry to find out...LOL
[suffice to say I’ve conducted some *really* stupid experiments over the years]
I think she should pop rivet it to your head.
“IMHO this psychologist is one of those people who sits in their ivory tower proscribing judgement on issues he knows absolutely nothing about...”
Agreed. My father will be 82 tomorrow. He was a supervisor in a steel mill. He never had a ring and wouldn’t have worn it if he did. He made it very clear how dangerous they are. (The grief I got over high heels, too!) My husband is a pilot. A peer lost his finger when he missed his footing exiting a plane. Neither of us wear our wedding rings. Neither of us worry for a minute about the other one cheating. Both of us actually have a fear of God.
Haha. That wouldn’t be fun. To be honest, I probably wear it 95% of the day.