I do feel that adopted children are not in a holding tank until they can be reunited with supposed “real parents.” Adoptive parents ARE real parents. Parents are people who parent a child, who are there doing the love and the work, raising those kids. You do not need the same genes to be a parent. My daughter shares none of my genes but she is my daughter, no one else’s. adoptive parents ARE the real parents.
A birth parent can feel utter joy at finding the child she gave up, as Eevil conservative is feeling. She loved and carried that baby and must be thrilled to have her grow up happy and safe and good. That to me is where it should end. That a birth parent can have joy at this reunion and gratitude, but “shep no nachas” from this child (how to translate: reap no parental pride - loose translation) because this is not your child. It’s just not your place. There is a line drawn and the birth mom can love but cannot BE THE Parent and is not the “real” parent.
Pop culture connects genes with “legit” and nothing is farther than the truth.
To elucidate this point, imagine a situation which occurs with great frequency. A young woman has a relationship with a guy she doesn’t know that well. She becomes pregnant. This “new boyfriend” heads for the hills. She keeps her baby and raises him. When he is two, she falls in love and marries a wonderful man who loves them both and raises this boy as his own, day and night. He is daddy. He gets peed, pooped, and thrown up on. He teaches his son everything, spends hours at his ball games or band performances. He is there to scold, protect, put food on the table, advise, and love. WHO IS THE REAL FATHER of this boy??
Did anyone say the sperm donor? Where did you get that from? Pop culture stupid movies, or really idiotic judges.
A birth mother deserves the highest honors for giving their child up for adoption, but sharing genes is a mere parlor trick. It’s no big deal. Any kind of relationship is possible with one’s adult birth child but there are boundaries it would be inappropriate to cross. If you didn’t raise your child, it’s not your child. Love will always be accepted though! No one can have too much love! :)
bttt
The late great Steve Jobs of Apple Computer fame said pretty much the same thing about the parents who adopted him.
Absolutely damn tootin right Yaelle!!
And to treat adoptive parents as anything less is a disincentive to adoption, therefore a incentive to abortion.