Much of this strikes me as self and sex centered, not bond centered.
Nagging I can agree with, and sure, BOTH partners should make sure they are healthy and vibrant in the conjugal relations department. And keeping a good sense of self is good, UP TO A POINT.
But, what about
I really need to fully read the Venerable Bishop Fulton Sheen's Three to Get Married
Nikki Ransom-Alfred is a Certified Master Sex Expert and Sex Coach, having assisted individuals and couples from Ohio to South Africa find sexual fulfillment. Her advice has appeared in and on various media outlets such as Cosmopolitan.com, The Other Paper, Bounce TV, and more!
*****
When you're a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
I remember bishop Sheen. A brilliant man. And I am sure some of his marital suggestions are worthy of review.
But having a never married, celebate cleric tell me about the complexities of marriage is worse than Monday morning quarterbacking as I may have been some sort of quarterback once.
If what your husbands has done is forgivable, forgive ... and forget, forever. (Same, fellas, for your wife ...) Give him a chance to confess without lasting punishment.
Very important things you listed that the article failed to list. As you get older sex is not the priority I once was. BTW the same female author advocates watchingporn together so I’m not so sure I’d take heradviceas gospel...
Well said!
The gist here is to keep your man happy. Be the person he fell in love with and keep him physically satisfied.
•Praying together
•Communicating
•Being wise and prudent with finances
•Sitting down to a proper daily dinner
•Bonding over an activity OTHER than sex (and in addition to aforementioned prayer)
•unexpected acts of kindness
•focusing on the raising (education, sports, religious life) of kids
All excellent points. And all essential to the long term health of the marriage. But NONE of them are specific to marriage. To some very large extent all men get married to get laid. Sex is a central part of the marriage. Why would we put up with all the hassles (waiting an hour for someone to get ready just to run to the store, having to share a bathroom, having to remember birthdays anniversaries, favorite colors, having to mess with the toilet seat etc etc etc) if it's a platonic relationship?
All your points can be done with friends and even in a marriage if all these points are done, but she is not doing the first five, then the marriage is in serious trouble.
My wife and I did all your suggestions, but due to various medical and self esteem issues she neglected the first five. This caused a bunch of unhappiness in our marriage and was a constant struggle for me.
A man should never be in the situation of walking down the street or in the store and seeing someone and thinking 'why can't my wife look like that" (or weigh so little or whatever).
Why do men cheat? Usually because they are not getting what they need at home.
(Please note that I never cheated on my wife. But the temptation was there and it shouldn't have been)
As the author of this piece, and Dr Laura, and lots of others point out. Sex is important to a man. We have sex with our wives to feel loved by them. (While they have sex with us because they feel loved by us). If she won't have sex with us, we don't belive she loves us at all.
Sex in a marriage is like air. It's only important if it's lacking. and then it's critically important.
Exactly what I thought when I ran into this drivel originally.