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Spring 2005, outside on the property boundary between my place and an adjacent field, hitting golf balls into the open field (early spring ritual)- A “concerned” neighbor calls police to report me for disturbing the ecosystem of a wetland (patch of cattails to my far left)...

Three fully equipped officers of the law in two patrol cars were dispatched to the scene because the caller expressed fear for his life (golf club-waving, yelling, etc.). The caller recorded my voice (profanity, etc.) and took pictures of me and my golf clubs, balls,, etc.

The boys looked a little silly as they convened. The first one to speak to me was kind of ‘uppity’ in his demeanor, which his two partners immediately began to emulate.

One cop, who I’m certain was young enough to be my son, quoted the complainant as saying that my golf swing sucked. Then, another eager beaver stated (for the record) that he’d heard the playback of the caller’s tape “verbatim” while giving me a stern look of disapproval.

I had to explain that I’d been doing that for three or four years and that I always go out there to retrieve as many balls as I can to reuse them the next year for the same thing but the neighbor didn’t want to listen to that as he punched in the numbers to call the police.

In fact, I had found all of the balls I was hitting during initial walks through the field. Only I knew that somebody else had left them there several years before. I actually had to dig most of the out of the ground, clean them up, etc. before I ever used them myself.

No ticket, not even a warning...just a bunch of cops “making a difference” in our wonderful community. The pictures taken by the neighbor were “released” to the custody of the property manager but I later retrieved them from my permanent records as a tenant...The neighbor has long since moved out and I still get a big kick out of those photos!