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To: AnAmericanMother

Emendations to lines 5 and 9 accepted. “Teleprompt” is a clever bit of verbal steampunk: I wish I’d thought of it!

For Line 13 “vanished” I don’t like because it conflicts with the image of decay. “Shattered” might do it.


38 posted on 10/18/2013 2:33:46 AM PDT by Claud
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To: Claud

Oh wait, nix shattered. It’s already used in a previous line.


39 posted on 10/18/2013 2:35:25 AM PDT by Claud
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