I dunno, I grew up watching Japanese TV and come to think of it, I never saw a samurai abuse his wife, although a lot of them were good at ignoring them.
All I know is you don’t want to get a samurai woman angry enough to the point she would take revenge. When you see her in the white (death) kimono, with the sleeves tied up and the headband on, holding a katana, you know you can kiss it goodbye. O-ren in the fight scene in Kill Bill is a pretty good modern adaptation of that.
Hmmm, a ticked-off samuai wife...not someone you would cross...that is, without a big old honker magnum 44 in your hand. You would get hurt, but, then, so would she. No win for all. Let's just leave Mrs. Ticked-off Wife alone! :o)