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Why men are withdrawing from courtship.
Dalrock ^ | Dalrock

Posted on 11/16/2013 5:37:57 AM PST by ClaytonP

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To: central_va

funny!


81 posted on 11/16/2013 7:58:36 AM PST by krunkygirl (force multiplier in effect...)
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To: ClaytonP

God forbid, but should anything happen to my wife, I’m heading back over to Japan should I feel the need for another one. And my wife is American, but has her head screwed on right, down to earth, never played the BS that young women do today. We’ve been happily married for 15 years, and met in a bar (introduced through mutual friends).


82 posted on 11/16/2013 7:59:44 AM PST by voicereason (The RNC is the "One-night stand" you wish you could forget.)
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To: Tired of Taxes
Note: Men wanted to date (and marry) younger women before feminism, too. ;-) Older men want to date younger women because they find them more physically attractive. Women are valued for their attractiveness. Men are valued for security and stability. (And I say that as an "older" woman.)

At 18, a woman has at least 25 years of reproductive viability ahead of her, as well of many years of youthful energy and cuteness. At 35, not so much, plus is more likely to have some other guy's kid(s) in tow.

Which one has more reproductive value?

83 posted on 11/16/2013 8:00:18 AM PST by PapaBear3625 (You don't notice it's a police state until the police come for you.)
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To: ClaytonP
Actually a man would have to be alowly worm to go through it(or very desperate). It costs money it mandates social skills that most of us do not have and you risk rejection. Courtship is largely bullshite and you get put through female hoops to get anywhere.

I really like a lot of women my age in their early sixties there are a surprisingly number of them who still have it. In fact they seem to get better with age. They may have a sag here or a bump there but they have a grace, a dignity and confident manner that they project along with a heightened femininity. But, alas they are usually taken or if they are available they are very much in demand. You just risk going all out just to find a hypercritical, contentious control freak coming into your life and that is just not worth it. When you are young dumb and full of testosterone they learn that they can lead you around by your peepee. But after that testosterone thing dies down they often find themselves out on their hienies.

84 posted on 11/16/2013 8:00:57 AM PST by amnestynone (Lindsey Graham is feckless, duplicitous, treacherous, double dealing backstabbing Corksucker.)
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To: ClaytonP

The problem goes back to how children are raised. Segregating genders, and when they are integrated, working them hard with some task to prevent socialization, is turning into a disaster.

If you keep a dog separated from other dogs as a puppy, when it grows up, it will still want to mate, but it will see other dogs as “the enemy”, not of their pack. Why should children be appreciably different?

The cultural norm is segregation until age 18, then children are expected to suddenly date, find a compatible partner, get married and have children.

No way this is going to happen.

“But don’t children get socialized in school and church?” Absolutely not. They are kept busy doing other things.

There actually *isn’t any* chaperoned social situation in much of the western world for children for any significant length of time, that also discourages voluntary gender segregation, over the course of more than a decade.

This means things get extremely difficult when children get adolescent urges to exhibit mating behavior. Girls inherently know to “show off” to attract boys, and boys know they are supposed to pay attention to girls doing this, but that’s about it. They have no idea how to interact with each other, though they want to.

And then, cultural perversity and pornography makes things much, much worse. If you were to poll high school students, they would be almost certain that their peers are having sex in healthy social relationships. A total lie, which they have been propagandized with their whole lives.

The truth is that even in high school, the relatively few children who are very sexually active were likely molested by relatives as young children. Their hopes for a happy, normal sexual life have pretty well been ruined. But the vast majority are intensely neurotic about it, thinking that they are uniquely ugly and unattractive.

If society wants happy marriages that produce cared for children, it is essential that boys and girls must understand each other like brothers and sisters. They must know how to work with each other, play with each other, intellectually and emotionally communicate with each other, know the others general strengths and weaknesses, and be willing to talk to each other.

Right now, men don’t want to court women because they think they are crazy, which they often appear to be because they don’t know what behavior is attractive. Women are frightened of men because men only know how to act around other men.

One of the best icebreakers I know is for a couple to know and practice therapeutic (healing, not erotic) massage on each other. And while it is a start, it is like trying to become literate as an adult, when you missed out on your education because you were illiterate. Once you are literate, you are still unlearned, but you might be able to make up for lost time. Yet you will never be as educated as someone who started as a child.


85 posted on 11/16/2013 8:02:55 AM PST by yefragetuwrabrumuy (War on Terror news at rantburg.com)
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To: virgil283; EricT.
"The common denominator in each divorce is selfishness"

But it just takes ONE selfish partner to initiate the divorce.

86 posted on 11/16/2013 8:03:01 AM PST by PapaBear3625 (You don't notice it's a police state until the police come for you.)
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To: FAA

They are ruled by emotions that go all over the place and also get insulted over nothing. ENJOY!
they make the nest as well, so pick your form of crazy and go with it.


87 posted on 11/16/2013 8:03:30 AM PST by A CA Guy ( God Bless America, God Bless and keep safe our fighting men and women.)
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To: Tired of Taxes

Women are valued for their attractiveness.


Nope...fertility.


88 posted on 11/16/2013 8:04:11 AM PST by S.O.S121.500 (Case back hoe for sale or trade for diesel wood chipper....Enforce the Bill of Rights. It's the Law!)
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To: Tired of Taxes
And the real reason men today don't want to bother with courtship: Why buy a cow when so many other cows are giving away the milk for free? Am I wrong here? Or, isn't that just the reality of it all?

The problem is that neither most males nor most females are making a commitment to a JudeoChristian marriage. It's all about the material world and the meat market; what am "I" going to "get" out of marriage? Neither is thinking "how can I be the best mate and future parent, and what do I bring to a marriage, including discernment of good values in the other future parent of my children?

The latter kind of thinking was more commonplace in America before the 60s. Marriage was supposed to be forever; being a parent was an unavoidable consequence of having sex, and having a family and making sacrifices ot care for each other was the point of marriage.

Today, both men and women are looking for fun, material status and psychological therapy from their partners.

89 posted on 11/16/2013 8:04:44 AM PST by Albion Wilde ("Remember... the first revolutionary was Satan."--Russian Orthodox Archpriest Dmitry Smirnov)
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To: Jonty30

So men die first because they WANT TO? Has all this been the cause?


90 posted on 11/16/2013 8:05:25 AM PST by A CA Guy ( God Bless America, God Bless and keep safe our fighting men and women.)
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To: EricT.
We had very little meddling from family and old friends.

You lucky, lucky man.

91 posted on 11/16/2013 8:05:50 AM PST by Albion Wilde ("Remember... the first revolutionary was Satan."--Russian Orthodox Archpriest Dmitry Smirnov)
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To: ClaytonP

Not married by 25?

They are humping and screwing since 16, and gone through at least a dozen sexual partners before 30. What’s the point in marriage, in such an arrangement?

It’s funny how fornication always gets a pass even here, for the sin that it is said to be.


92 posted on 11/16/2013 8:06:03 AM PST by James C. Bennett (An Australian.)
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To: riri

WTF is wrong with women today?


Not enough Sharia.....


93 posted on 11/16/2013 8:06:42 AM PST by S.O.S121.500 (Case back hoe for sale or trade for diesel wood chipper....Enforce the Bill of Rights. It's the Law!)
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To: ClaytonP

I can only write of my experience as a man watching my Son in the dating world. Young women are taught that young men are rapists. Daddies teach their daughters that first, they must be able to take care of themselves in the world. Then, they can start dating. Dads are raising up a bunch of girls to be strong individuals who don’t need a man. Then, we wonder why we have so many young women who aren’t interested in getting married. We teach young women that in order for them to be judged a success, they have to have a 5,000 square foot house. They have to have a $50,000 luxury sedan or pickup and a $50,000 Suburban. They also have to have the cabin or vacation condo or small yacht. Unrealistic expectations. Can this guy give me these things? And God help the young man who doesn’t look like Justin Beiber.


94 posted on 11/16/2013 8:11:09 AM PST by blueunicorn6 ("A crack shot and a good dancer")
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To: ClearCase_guy

In my humble experience, when a young woman says that she’s looking for a long-term, committed relationship, that leads to marriage, the men run like their tails are on fire. Most men in their 20’s aren’t interested in that and those in their 30’s find a woman in her early 20’s to be immature and vapid. (Too much of an age difference)

So I see a lot of whining from men on why they can’t find a ‘nice girl’... Well, the smart guys snatched them up ten years ago while you were enjoying your party.

My daughter was raised conservative with conservative values. She lasted ONE YEAR on the market before her 27 year old husband ‘wifed’ her.

Just stand outside the high school graduation ceremonies with a net.


95 posted on 11/16/2013 8:11:24 AM PST by Marie (When are they going to take back Obama's peace prize?)
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To: Patton@Bastogne
"...and as a Christian guy, I wasn't interested in a "friends with benefits" relationship ... "

You mean, through all those years of courting, sex wasn't involved?

96 posted on 11/16/2013 8:11:48 AM PST by James C. Bennett (An Australian.)
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To: usconservative
What many men fail to figure out is that the way to be happy is to keep your wife happy.

Bears repeatin'!

97 posted on 11/16/2013 8:15:12 AM PST by Albion Wilde ("Remember... the first revolutionary was Satan."--Russian Orthodox Archpriest Dmitry Smirnov)
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To: ClaytonP

98 posted on 11/16/2013 8:22:58 AM PST by Cyber Liberty (We're At That Awkward Stage: It's too late to vote them out, too early to shoot the bastards.)
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To: blueunicorn6

Every watch a Hollyeird movie lately ? If a guy isn’t successful, good looking, over 6 feet tall then the character portrayed is a total stupid poor loser....


99 posted on 11/16/2013 8:26:22 AM PST by central_va (I won't be reconstructed and I do not give a damn.)
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To: 9YearLurker

You’re dead wrong.

What you spend for anything in the area of looking good is spent on YOU. You spend nothing on the man himself. You don’t buy him dinner, you don’t spring for the many miscellaneous gifts and benefits that are commonly bestowed on you.

You don’t spend anything on the man himself in the courtship or dating relationship. That’s a fact. You don’t know what you’re talking about.


100 posted on 11/16/2013 8:26:46 AM PST by ReaganÜberAlles
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