[Patton@Bastogne]

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Well, I just read the article posted and some other things as well ...


The question is "not" ... What were you buying her ? ...


rather .. it's that I gave her my heart ...


along with lost of free tree trimming, rain gutter cleaniong, painting, yard work ...

Starbucks coffee delivered to her door at leat 2-3 times a week in the mornings ...

casual lunches/evening dinners 2-3 times weekly ...

relatively expensive Saturday "date-night" dinners (Bonefish, etc) ...

always the Sunday "after church" dining fare, often at the Conscious Blossom organic eatery ...

fresh blueberries and kiwis delivered at least once a week in the mornings ...



This woman is the "romantic love of my life" ...

Yet after 4.5 years of courting, she still couldn't "make a committment" ...

and as a Christian guy, I wasn't interested in a "friends with benefits" relationship ...

I wanted to honor and lover her within the best structure, a life-long marriage.

Again, I'm glad I had the "life opportunity" to pour-out a wonderful affection and love for this woman ...

but, alas, it has literally almost "cost me my soul" ...





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[trapped_in_LA]

Patton,

You seriously need help, acting like a doormat and emotional tampon for any woman is the quickest way to the “friend zone” you’ll ever see. Would suggest that you stop doing what is sure to kill any attraction a woman may have for you and start acting like a man instead of a personal servant. You have probably gotten a lot of bad advice (probably from women who are the last ones you want to ask about that kind of thing) on how to court a woman. Forget all that you’ve been taught by your mother, the people in church and most every media outlet as they are all so very WRONG. Go to the web page this article came from and start learning, follow the links and it will open your eyes.

[Castlebar]

Patton, you should write a screenplay. Seriously, your chick flick would be tops at the box office for three summer weekends.

I would think that just telling your story probably gets women interested in you........

[PapaBear3625]

Yet after 4.5 years of courting, she still couldn't "make a committment" ...

If you want commitment, and after six months she isn't talking about the future, then it's time to move on. If, after a year, you are not both sure enough to be willing to set a date, then it's time to move on.

[Albion Wilde]

You sound like a nice guy. But dating and courtship are not marriage. You should hold back your heart until a woman makes a commitment. And if she doesn’t make a commitment in, say, 18 months, move on. Do not fall totally in love until after marriage. It’s like business. Do not work on spec.

[James C. Bennett]

"...and as a Christian guy, I wasn't interested in a "friends with benefits" relationship ... "

You mean, through all those years of courting, sex wasn't involved?

[CatherineofAragon]

With all respect to you, sir, it is always a mistake to make yourself a servant and doormat for a woman (or for a woman to do it for a man). You must hold a bit of yourself back during courtship. If she wasn't in love with you after four and a half years, she was never going to be. You should have cut ties a lot earlier and spared yourself a lot of torture. You just can't force another person to love you; in fact, if you try too hard, it can be a turn-off.

And she should be ashamed for stringing you along and using you for what she could get out of you, instead of doing the decent thing and telling you to find someone who would love you in return.

I would say you have yet to meet the true love of your life; when you do, your feelings will be reciprocated.

God bless

[RinaseaofDs]

You must live in the PacNW.

My wife runs a department full of women, and SHE complains of the crazy.

She keeps hoping they’ll hire a male math teacher just to cut through the estrogen.

[HereInTheHeartland]

Wow; your story resonates with me.

I did this for just 3 months; feel the same way about her. But she has moved on; better after 3 months than investing 2 years I guess.