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There’s no doubt that intimacy is important in a marriage. Continued spousal refusal of intimacy is grounds for divorce, and (imho) rightfully so. But, MOST couples probably fall into a rut once in a while.

However, I think Dobson’s comments are true for some marriages. I know a man who claims that he refused to sleep with his wife because she was over-the-top abusive. (And she really was - he’s not exaggerating.)

My own marriage was another example: My soon-to-be-ex is telling everyone that he had to cheat on me because I was refusing him. His latest story is that I denied him for years. His friends believe him. But, he’s lying... The truth is that he has MAJOR issues, and throughout the marriage I had reason not to trust him. But, we’d go through cycles with me trusting him enough to be close, and then discovering lies and not trusting him so pulling away, then trusting him again, and on and on. I was seriously ill for a year, and he played the part of the perfect husband. So, we actually were in the “I-trust-him-enough-to-be-close” part of the cycle when I discovered that he was secretly placing personal ads online the whole time I was sick.

A man may be attractive on the outside (my husband worked out every morning - 6’ tall - cobblestone abs - oh, and he advertised his physique in the personal ads I found). But when a man is complaining about and criticizing everything his wife does, lying to her constantly, driving up debt again and again, refusing to talk with his wife about important matters, treating other people better than his wife, and downloading porn onto his computer... well, it’s going to affect his marriage. I would’ve preferred to have been married to a lovable, trustworthy, average-looking guy with a potbelly. (Ladies, if that describes your husband, consider yourselves blessed.)