Conservatives vs. Liberals
Conservatives love the Fourth of July and celebrate it enthusiastically.
Liberals hate the Fourth of July and refuse to celebrate it.
Conservatives love the “Star-Spangled Banner” and want to keep it as our National Anthem.
Liberals hate the “Star-Spangled Banner” and want to replace it with “We Are the World.”
Conservatives know that life begins at conception.
Liberals believe life begins at birth.
Conservatives judge people as individuals.
Liberals judge people as members of groups—races, classes, etc.
Conservatives believe Islamic terrorism poses the greatest threat to America.
Liberals believe anthropogenic global warming poses the greatest threat to America.
Conservatives wave the flag.
Liberals burn the flag.
Conservatives say, “God bless America.”
Liberals say, “God damn America.”
Conservatives support the death penalty and oppose baby murder.
Liberals oppose the death penalty and support baby murder.
Conservatives see Communists as a threat.
Liberals see anti-Communists as a threat.
Conservatives want to fight crime by locking up criminals.
Liberals want to fight crime by disarming law-abiding citizens.
Conservatives believe that all viewpoints should be tolerated.
Liberals say, “no freedom of speech for fascists”—and “fascists” are all whose views are to the right of George McGovern.
Conservative football fans root for USC.
Liberal football fans root for UCLA.
That’s pretty much it.