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Lawn Fairies!! Soccer is another means to try and European-ize our country. Be a man and play AMERICAN football.

Only a true soccer weenie would get excited about a 2-1 victory by the most powerful nation on earth with a population of 320 million people over a second world country with a population of 3 million people. Think of it this way: The USA has been trying to develop a world class soccer team since the mid-1970's and we probably spend more on soccer at the various levels of play per year (pro, college, high school, and youth leagues) than the entire GDP of Jamaica, and the best we can do is a 2-1 snooze victory.

Hmmm, I am always intrigued by those who impugn a sport as well as denigrate it as less-than-manly. I will go on a limb and guess you have never played soccer or as the rest of the world calls it football. By comparison to the NFL kind, soccer requires greater stamina, finesse and patience than the NFL kind.

— In soccer, participants are always playing “both ways” and take no time-outs (T.V. commercial, huddle, or others) not to mention there are only three substitutions allowed in regular time (90 minutes).

— In soccer, skill with the ball (dribbling, passing, etc.) takes a long time to master. Only a few NFL players ever get to touch the ball and even those whose livelihood depends on it need a helmet to aid them every now and then. And yes, handling an egg shaped “ball” is not easy, particularly when inflated to the proper pressure.

— In soccer, scoring evolves over sequences of plays which require patience on the players to compose and in the audience to appreciate. In the NFL a score takes from the snap to the score; at its longest, the time it takes a running back to get a hand-off behind his own end zone to the goal line on the opposite side of the field. Truly an event made for those with the attention span of a retriever easily distracted by squirrels.

While not denigrating NFL style football, I understand both sports are different and require different skill sets. NFL style football lends itself for quick gratification from the audience point of view with the downs and the play clock determining the pace of the game while soccer requires the audience to have patience and greater appreciation for the skill of the players. To me, both are very entertaining to watch and designed for different kinds of players. Not to get into social/sexual appeal discussion, yet in general terms, just about any body size can excel at soccer with practice while NFL style football favors tall and large (not necessarily fit judging by the size of some linemens’ guts) individuals. And in a woman’s case, an affinity for guys with broad artificial shoulders, tight pants with small groin bulges, and the star player reaching from behind into another player’s derriere.

Yes, I have played both soccer as wing and American football as a wide receiver/safety in college/community/base intramurals and community leagues. As such I have respect for both. If you have not, give soccer a try in a local league wherever you live. I am convinced your moniker of soccer players as faeries will surely (not calling you Shirley) change.

Regards.