You are sick and twisted individual with a perverted sense of humor.
I like that in a man.
LOL, I do have a perverse sense of humor, but I'm not sick and twisted in the least!
I think it all started when I was a very young man, working part-time as a stock clerk in a department store. The floor manager's name was ... and I'm not making this up ... Mr. Horny. I was hired while he was still on vacation, and the day he returned I was in the back unloading a truck. I saw him milling around, and not knowing he worked there, I asked him who he was.
"I'm Horny," he replied.
Now of course, you realize, an opportunity like this comes along about once in three or four millenia. It was a parlous thing, but I couldn't let it go. I just had to say it.
"What's the matter ... your wife got a headache?"
"Got a headache," of course, being a euphemism for something far cruder.
I lasted all of another week, before being fired on a trumped-up excuse.