Does it sit on you head and yowl at 4AM telling you it is time to recharge it, and then snub the type of electricity you give it?
Does it get up on your nightstand, dresser, or counter, and knock things off to get your attention? Can it claw a roll of toilet paper to shreds, or make mincemeat out of fabric wallpaper? Can it scratch the paint or varnish off your doors? Will it steal things, then watch you drive yourself crazy looking for those things? Will it leave teeth marks in soft leather purses? Can it give your bedsheets the artistic touch of claw holes, and pulled threads?
I salute you, sir.