True. As a history buff who focused on the Civil War, in the early days, I chose not to take sides, but the more research I did, I realized, that if the Civil War occurred today, I would have been on the South’s side.
My family was split.
GGGrandfather left the South 8 years prior the war for mid-West. Many others already there as settlers.
Many others of course stayed behind in the South.
We had hundreds on the Southern side and about half as many on the Union side (I’m from that group). Some battles had cousins /uncles/nephews shooting at each other.
GGUncle was Reb paroled at Appomattox by Lee. He had to move West and North to Union relatives farms to avoid persecution under Reconstruction. After 1875 he went back.
My father heard tales of hardship under Reconstruction which came from grandparents, but they were nominally Northerners by then, and only heard about those things second hand from their parents.
The history is written by the victors of course. They justify their acts. But reality will come out. That’s happening now.
There are many cross currents in all of this, but it still defines whether the nation will continue to exist. Maybe the Original Sin will never be assuaged, and it all collapses.
If so, those who pursued force and intimidation to keep the marriage going will have no one to blame but themselves: relationships are consensual, or a disaster.
That was one thing that the Lee haters miss: he pointed out that he could not remain in a Union that was not by popular choice. It meant that the principle of a union based on free association had been broken. Lincoln said that made him a traitor, but I don’t think Grant ever agreed. They were two men of the same fabric, doing what they had to do. It was their relationship that ended the war. And unfortunately lesser men then either of them went on to impose draconian, un-democratic rules on their alleged co-nationals.