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To: Phantom Lord
"My Steven shaved his chest and his b@lls" Ha!
18 posted on 10/22/2003 7:06:25 PM PDT by WackyKat
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To: Oystir

Latest News & Gossip - Page Six
Cartoon Cracks Up Movie Biz
Sat Aug 09, 4:02 AM ET

By Richard Johnson, Page Six

COMEDY Central's upcoming animated series starring legendary producer-philanderer Robert Evans is sure to offend just about everyone.

PAGE SIX got a sneak peak at "Kid Notorious," the politically incorrect cartoon show premiering in October that lampoons Hollywood through the eyes of one of its most notorious players.

The first episode opens with Evans, lately linked with hot-blooded hotel heiress Paris Hilton, waking up in bed with a gorgeous Asian woman.

"Ever since 'Charlie's Angels' I've wanted to get a how-do-you-do from Lucy Liu," Evans tells his bedmate, who replies, "I'm not Lucy Liu."

"It doesn't matter," he says. "You're every bit as beautiful."

Later, Sharon Stone calls Evans to tell him she's dropping out of his latest project to do a version of "The Vagina Monologues" called "Sharon Stone's Vagina." Evans tells the audience, "Someone put it into that starlet's head that she could act. Sharon Stone's vagina? . . . It can't act either!"

When Stone asks if he's ever heard of "The Vagina Monologues," Evans answers, "I never quite got into the porno game, Sharon. Me, I don't like to commute to the Valley."

Stone screams, "It's theater, you stupid [bleep]!" In the ensuing argument, Stone announces, "I've got a Golden Globe!"

"Damned Golden Globes," says Evans.

"You know who picks them? Six [derogatory term for Poles] sitting around a table at the Warsaw Café gulping down their potato soup" (a reference to the Hollywood Foreign Press Association).

The show pokes fun at Evans' famously self-inflated list of credits. When someone mentions "Driving Miss Daisy," he boasts, "Another Oscar for Bob Evans!" His pet cat reminds him that he did not, in fact, produce the flick.

Later, Evans is arrested for trying to bribe a cop out of giving him a ticket. In jail, a homeless man tells him, "I had a three-picture deal when you were president of Paramount." Evans responds, "Uh-uh. I never did homo pictures. There's no money in them."

When some fellow prisoners find out that he produced "The Godfather" and "The Godfather Part II," one of them warns, "You better not have produced [part] three."

"Three?" Evans says. "I never get within a mile of that piece of [bleep]!"
30 posted on 10/22/2003 7:14:47 PM PDT by Hillary's Lovely Legs (I have a plan. I need a dead monkey, empty liquor bottles and a vacuum cleaner.)
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