Second, if you're not going to reconcile, you should see about how to handle the divorce. You may not wish to get alimony, but you will want to get child support.
Third, starting over is something that everybody does differently. When I had to do it, I made it a point to set some time aside (even if only a little) doing or having something I liked. For me, it was spoiling myself once a week with some expensive coffee (Kona) and a video rental.
Do you have family and friends living close to you? Are you active in the church of your choice? If so, now's a good time to let them know that you're going to need their support. Especially with the holidays coming up.
I'm hoping you're also talking about all this with your kids...