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I know of the worst actual present given at Christmastime....when I was a kid, me and my brother, mother and father opened all our gifts on Christmas morning...then we went downstairs, to see what my aunt and uncle and two cousins had gotten....

Now, my uncle could be a real jerk....this one year, he actually got my aunt a giant sized box of Tide for Christmas...I swear, its true....well, my dad just burst out laughing and we kids just snickered...my mom was horrified, and my aunt was crying....its was all too terrible....of course, my uncle was also a drunk, in addition to being a jerk, and I guess in a drunken stupor, he bought her this box of Tide, and figured that was good enough....

But the whole affair lasted in our family legends forever....the following Christmas, my dad got the bright idea of buying my mom a whole bunch of crap for Christmas, like a pile of gag gifts, while the extra special real gifts were hidden away....

Poor mom...she opened all her odd gifts, things like clipboards for holding her maps while they traveled, a fly swatter, ace bandages for her sore arms, and oh yes, a giant sized box of Tide....we had such fun wrapping those presents in pretty Christmas paper, and laughing at how mad mom was going to be, when she opened those presents and thought that was all she was getting....

Mom opened all of her nasty gifts, and burst into tears...of couse, we kids just laughed...dad ran into his closet and came out laden down with all her real gifts, which were wonderful and splendid, and she was so happy...

But that started a tradition in our family, which lasted until we kids grew up and moved away from home....every Christmas, the hunt was on, to find the lousiest gifts to give mom on Christmas morning, before she got her actual good presents....

And all his started because my jerky, drunken uncle gave his wife a giant sized box of Tide for Christmas...