Judith you make it all sound so simple. Kind of like Ross Perot. Just pop the hood and fix it. And yes there is no way around it, I am venting my frustation. I am airing my dirty laundry.
Here's something for you to consider:
After having you, with all your mistakes, for a father, maybe she is justifiably very wary of legally tying herself to someone who might turn out to be just like you. Maybe she'd like to "live in sin" for a while to be sure that the man she thinks she loves isn't another jackass like her dad.
So, while you're venting, you might reconsider flinging insults at posters who offer the advice your asking for. And you might tell your daughter this:
"Honey, I love you and I'm concerned for your welfare. I know I wasn't the best father, that's not your fault. I'll pay your tuition for the time being, while I think over whether or not I want to continue doing that much longer. I'm not sure I do. When you feel up to it, please give me a phone call or drop me a note, so we can talk things over."
And you might consider something else--your daughter and this young man might break up. At that point, you have an opportunity to be loving, supportive, and change the direction of her life in a safer direction. Remember: flies, honey, vinegar.