Posted on 12/20/2004 10:20:54 AM PST by JoeV1
Rec'd just today although I'm sure it's made its rounds before but I haven't seen these. *********************************************************
Take heart, anyone among you who believes he or she is technologically challenged, you "ain't seen nuthin" yet. This is an excerpt from a Wall Street Journal article:
1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.
2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
3. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "Send" key.
4. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his bathtub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually.
5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "Bad and an invalid." The tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.
6. A confused caller to IBM was having trouble printing documents. He told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer." The user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer-but that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer.
7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happened." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse...
8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked, "What power switch?"
9. Another IBM customer had trouble installing software and rang for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second disk, and had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in..." The user hadn't realized that "Insert Disk 2" implied removing Disk 1 first.
10. A story from a Novell NetWare SysOp: CALLER: "Hello, is this Tech Support?" TECH: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?" CALLER: "The cup holder on my PC is broken -and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?" TECH: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?" CALLER: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer." TECH: "Please excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?" CALLER: "It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a promotional. It just has '4X' on it." At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and it had snapped it off the drive.
11. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was "running it under windows." The woman responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his printer is working fine."
12. And last but not least: TECH SUPPORT: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
CUSTOMER: "I don't have a 'P'". TECH SUPPORT: "On your keyboard, Bob." CUSTOMER: "What do you mean?" TECH SUPPORT: " 'P' on your keyboard, Bob." CUSTOMER: "I'm not going to do that!"
---having had some discussion over HP support with someone named Ahmed, this stuff is a two-way street---
Herro....Dees ees Dall Tech-nee-cal Support, how may I hep yoooo toooo-day? Arrrrrgggghhhhh!!!!!!
During the course of the tech call, exactly how many times did your support person say "Yessssssss. We are apologizing for any inconvenience"?
I had one 2 hour call where she must've said it a hundred times.
I was having problems with my DSL couple of years ago. Verizon tech support didn't help, so I called Geeks On Call. The guy came to my home and told me that he didn't know much about DSL. I should have taken it as a warning because he removed a required utility and couldn't figure out why he couldn't connect to the internet. I warned him before he did it that he wouldn't be able to connect, but he wouldn't listen to me. When he realized that I was right, he tried to use his laptop and dial up service to connect to the internet. He struggled with it for 20 minutes until I pointed out to him that his computer wasn't plugged into the phone jack.
Sorry, but Compaq are the dummies. "Press Any Key," because it has capitalized first letters, implies that the "Any Key" is a proper noun. It sounds wierd, but I'd bet there would never have been a problem if they had written, "Press any key." Other companies did not have this problem.
I had a Compaq and never had any problem understanding that 'Press Any Key" means what it says. Face it, today most people wouldn't know a proper noun from a pogo stick.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.