Posted on 01/14/2005 9:25:04 AM PST by presidio9
Doesn't surprise me. All these "sexual minority" groups (aka perverts) are very keen on misuing anything they can think of to make their dysfunctional practices even more dysfunctional.
I have often wondered when reading youth-oriented magazines such as Rolling Stone, etc., why there are so many Viagra ads in there. What the hell does the average 25-year-old need Viagra for?
SNL did a pardy of this ad last weekend. The product was called Dr. Porkenheimer's Boner Juice:
Woman: Are you ready to make the move to a strong and more lasting experience? Now you have a choice. If you're already on an ED treatment, maybe it's time for something new. Many ED specialists are recommending Dr. Porkenheimer's Boner Juice [dissolve to title screen with flame background: "Dr. Porkenheimer's (Boner Juice)"] for a stronger and more lasting experience. [dissolve to woman, shot widens to show that she is sitting on a bed, and a man joins her and places an arm affectionately around her shoulder] Bigger, and stronger. [chuckles] And more meaty. [dissolve to title screen with flame background: "MEATY"] [dissolve to woman] And there's no rush to perform. [dissolve to a goldfish in a fishbowl] It's boners when you feel right. [dissolve to woman] Giant ones. That are thick and sturdy. [dissolve to title screen with flame background: "THICK", "STURDY"] [dissolve to woman] Ask your doctor about a thicker, heavier, longer sexual experience. It's what Dr. Porkenheimer's Boner Juice is all about.
[dissolve to a montage of scenes during disclaimer]
Narrator: [voice over] [woman is getting ready to leave when man beckons her to the bed] Dr. Porkenheimer's Boner Juice is only for men healthy enough for sexual activity. [woman joins man on bed, and he kisses her hand] Do not take Boner Juice if you take nitrates for chest pains, [pan across bedroom while the bed bangs loudly on its springs] or alpha blockers for prostate problems or high blood pressure, [objects shake with the repeated impacts] as this may cause an unsafe drop in high blood pressure. [the hands of a clock race from 8 o'clock to 5 o'clock within seconds] If erection lasts less than four hours, [fishbowl shakes particularly violently] up the dosage by as much as you like. [a candle burns on a shelf]
[dissolve to woman, now with bare shoulders and looking very disheveled]
Woman: My guy? Yeah, he's happy with his boner. [shot widens to show that she is wrapped in the bedsheets, and the man is next to her with a very large erection tenting the sheet]
Narrator: In the rare case the erection should last more than twenty-four hours, call a friend and brag about it. Dr. Porkenheimer's Boner Juice. [dissolve to title screen with flame background: "Dr. Porkenheimer's (Boner Juice)"]
I can just see the Levitra Skank saying "..my guy.."
Yechhhh! I was just about to eat lunch.
If there was ever news that I really didn't want to know, this fits into the category!
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