Posted on 03/29/2005 12:00:16 PM PST by pissant
Here is a list of some of the worst songs ever, or, at least, songs that I really hate. To make the list, a song must be well known. Thus many entries are from the 1970s. Another requirement is that the song be extremely bad. This excludes run of the mill bad songs such as those on the ``Saturday Night Fever'' album.
Music can take people far away from everyday worries, give hope, and bring lots of nice things to mind. The songs in this list do none of these things. When these songs are heard, they can make people feel bad, or enraged. These songs cause profound utterances like ``Nooooo'' and ``Oohhhh.''
There is, however, a positive aspect to the worst songs: most of the time, you aren't listening to them. Seeing the name of a bad song can remind us that we're not hearing it now, and we probably won't hear it any time soon. If you add up all the happiness that each bad song thus provides, well, that's a lot of happiness.
And now, here are the songs. Included with some songs are little ditties to help identify them.
The Horrible Songs
Afternoon Delight - Starland Vocal Band. ``oooo oooo afternoon delight. oooo ooo afternoon delight!''
Billy Don't be a Hero - Bo Donaldson & The Haywoods.
Hooked on a Feeling - Blue Swede. ``chaga ooga''^n, n>10^6.
Karma Chameleon - Boy George and the Culture Club. ``karma karma karma karma karma chameleon.''
MacArthur Park - Donna Sommer, with an earlier version done by Richard Harris. ``Someone left a cake out in the rain! It took too long to bake it, and I don't know if I can make it, ... Oh no!''
Mr. Tambourine Man - William Shatner.
Muskrat Love - The Captain & Tennille. Contains sounds too disgusting to reproduce with words.
Seasons in the Sun - Terry Jacks. ``We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun, but the hills that we climbed were just seasons out of time.`` Terry Jacks not only was at least partially responsible for this song, but he also gets an award for awful hair. There is some kind of music video-like clip of him where you can witness the hair and the song at the same time.
Teen Angel - Mark Dinning (I think). ``Oh where oh where can my baby be? The good lord took her away from me.''
Honorable Mention Abracadabra - Steve Miller. ``Abracadabra. I want to reach out and grab ya.''
Bad Girls - Donna Sommer. ``Bad girls. Talking' bout some .. bad girls. Sad girls. Talking' bout some .. sad girls.''
Kung Fu Fighting - Carl Douglas. Something like this: ``Everybody was Kung Fu fighting. And it was so exciting. But it was so very frightening. But it was quite enlightening. And it was just like lightning.''
Loving you - Minnie Riperton (I think). ``Loving you.. is easy 'cause you're beautiful.''
Pop Goes The Weasel. This song is really not that bad. However, it has a problem that is immediately apparent if one visualizes a pop-goes-the-weasel toy lying on the floor on December 27, with a small child next to it.
You're Having My Baby - Paul Anka.
CHA CHING - JACKPOT. It appears that the following songs may be found ON A SINGLE CD.
Hooked On A Feeling
Hitchin' A Ride
The Night Chicago Died
How Do You Do?
Chevy Van
Dancing In The Moonlight
Rock Me Gently
Jungle Fever
I'm Doin' Fine Now
Moonlight Feels Right
Afternoon Delight
Beach Baby
Sky High
Seasons In The Sun
Billy, Don't Be A Hero
Tighter, Tighter
Beautiful Sunday
My Baby Loves Lovin'
Run Joey Run
One Tin Soldier, Legend Of Billy Jack
Rings
Shannon
Are you wearing an asbestos suit? You do NOT want to tick off rabid Zepheads.
How about that gem "Ebony and Ivory". BTW some of the songs on that list aren't that bad.
I don't mind LedZep, I just HATE that one song with a passion!
where is ice, ice baby on that list?
name one that's not that bad~!
I'd have to add a few (hundred):
"We Built This City (on Rock'n'Roll)" - Starship
"We Didn't Start the Fire" - Billy Joel
"Uptown Girl" - Billy Joel
"Wild Boys" - Duran Duran
I always hated that Sting song.. I don't know the name but it went, "doo doo doo doo da da da, that's all I want to say to you"
Blech!
You named it: "De Doo Doo Doo, De Da Da Da" is the title. It's the Police (pre-solo career).
I like that song. Other than the chorus, it has great lyrics:
Poets, priests and politicians
Have words to thank for their positions
I can't stand that song by Barry Manalow, "Cola Balunka", I think it was. "Lola?" Whatever. Half-blocked from the pained memories. Ar...rg!
And I got sick of "Achy-Breaky Heart".
Sax solos would be good torture in 'Abu Grab'
Stairway to Heavan is ok by me. I love that album. Battle of Evermore was great. And Kashmire is one of my favorites. FReegards....
The only Billy Joel song I like is the one where he sings "a bottle of red, a bottle of white, it all depends on your apetite..."
I'd agree.. if it's the Dolly Parton one.. and the one done with banjos and tuba is pretty bad..
Check out April Winchill's website for a ton of Stairway to Heaven covers. http://www.aprilwinchell.com/multimedia/ Then scroll down..
I like Stairway. It's not their best song. And it really wasn't a "hit" in the strictest sense of the word. I don't think it was ever a Top 40 single. It's now a standard on Classic Rock stations, of course.
"where is ice, ice baby"
I think I'll play that one tonight. Thanks for reminding me. =] Hey, but I like some Disco too. Just me. FReegards...
Kashmire is on a differnt album, I believe.
Well, er, "Afternoon Delight" is a pleasant little ditty. You gotta love the underlying premis.
Not sure what's worse the song or that idiotic dance.
Hey, I have one of those Kung Fu rodents!!
Puff the Magic Dragon - Peter Paul and Mary.
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