Posted on 04/15/2005 8:30:45 AM PDT by pissant
1. Ask her to dance.
2. On windy days, brush wayward strands of hair from her eyes and mouth.
3. When she’s coming down the street, across the room, or up the stairs to meet you, walk towards her as soon as you see her.
4. Kiss her between her shoulder blades when she turns her back to you to go to sleep.
5. Put your arm around her when you introduce her to your friends and family.
6. Grasp her hand when a scantily dressed, beautiful woman walks by.
7. Call her when you’re feeling sad.
8. Kiss her eyelids.
9. Ask to see a picture of her when she was a child.
10. Wash her from head to toe in the shower.
11. If she’s crying on the phone, go over to her place. Immediately.
12. TOO NAUGHTY (ed)
13. Occasionally call her by her first and middle names.
14. Buy her your favourite rock album of all time on vinyl.
15. Order coffee for her, remembering exactly how she likes it.
16. Undress her and put her to bed when she falls asleep in the car.
17. Mention your upcoming anniversary before she does.
18. Send her something in the mail. Anything.
19. When she’s feeling insecure, stare into her eyes and tell her there is no-one in the world who could be as right for you as she is.
20. Call her just before you get on the plane.
21. Pick her clothes up off the floor.
22. Try desperately to make her laugh when she’s feeling down.
23. Take her to see your favourite sport live. Pay more attention to her than to the game.
24. Touch her arm when you leave the table to go to the bathroom. Touch her again when you come back.
25. Shave just before you see her. She’ll notice.
26. Hug her when she gets jealous. Hug her hard.
27. Worship her breasts.
28. Give her jewellery.
29. Hand her two towels when she gets out of the shower. (The second one is for her hair.)
30. Ask her specific questions about her work.
31. Keep her favourite cereal on hand.
32. In the middle of a conversation, tell her you love her.
33. Send her very expensive flowers when you screw up.
34. Take her to a cabin with a fireplace. Build her a fire.
35. TOO SAUCY (ed)
36. Read her a story when it’s her turn to drive during a long road trip.
37. Offer to fix something at her place that you realise is broken.
38. Notice when she’s wearing something new.
39. Make love to her standing up, against a wall.
40. Kiss her hand in front of your most die-hard bachelor buddies.
41. If she’s too stressed to want sex... a. Run a bath for her. b. Give her a full-body massage. c. Ask if she wants to wrestle.
(snort)
A blowtorch would probably cause charing of the heart. However if you keep it in the freezer you could thaw it any time you like.
But, seriously, I don't mind. He brings home the paycheck and makes a great barbecue!
cripplecreek wrote:
A blowtorch would probably cause charing of the heart. However if you keep it in the freezer you could thaw it any time you like.
--> Can you use the microwave to thaw it out? ;)
Twice as effective if she's the driver
NOT
I can't help but notice that "Wait 'til she gets up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, then leave a 'flatulation' under the covers for her to find when she gets back" is conspicuously absent from the list.
If 27 and 39 aren't "too saucy", 35 must be a doozy.
DH doing (21) would automatically cause (22) because he'd be picking mine up off the floor while his clothes were still strewed down the hallway :lol: ....
LQ
I take it that "ripping one" in bed and then putting the covers over her head isn't on the list?
People tend to think all my threads are silly!
Are you jeffrey dahmer??
Pissant, you usually stir up trouble. This time you've melted my heart. Will you marry me?
Getting in a farting contest with the dog isn't on the list either :lol: .
LQ
It's all in the game plan. Like a wife allowing frequent sex prior to the rock. ;o)
Yeah, finding a Flock of Seagulls album would be hard to do for you anyway. ;o)
Go Look!
a "dutch oven"??
That's akin to what I mention in post 8. I, too, am dumbfounded by the oversight.
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