Father Flannigan, an elderly priest invited Father O'Connell, a younger
priest from a neighboring parish who was fresh from the seminary, over for
dinner. During the meal, the young priest couldn't help noticing how
attractive and shapely the house keeper was. Over the course of the evening
he started to wonder if there was more between the elderly priest and the
housekeeper than met the eye.
Reading the young priest's thoughts, the elderly priest volunteered, "I
know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, my relationship with my
housekeeper is purely professional."
About a week later the housekeeper came to the elderly priest and said,
"Father Flannigan, ever since the Father O'Connell came to dinner, I've
been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose
he took it do you?"
The priest said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write him a letter
just sure." So he sat down and wrote:
"Dear Father O'Connell
I thoroughly enjoyed our conversation at dinner the other night and hope we
have the opportunity to do so again.
On another matter. We had a beautiful silver ladle which was a gift from a
parishioner that comes to visit from time to time. The ladle has come up
missing and I would be very embarrassed to invite her over and she notice
the missing ladle. It is very important that it be found.
Now, I'm not saying that you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and
I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains
that it has been missing ever since you were here."
Several days later the elderly priest received a letter from the young
priest which read:
"Dear Father Flannigan,
I also enjoyed our dinner and conversation and hope note only that we do so
again, but also that I be permitted to return the favor.
On the other matter. Now, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with your
housekeeper, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with your
housekeeper. But the fact remains that if you were sleeping in your own
bed, you would have found the gravy ladle by now."
The mother was in the bedroom, talking to her 9 year-old son, when she heard the doorbell ring.
She looked at her son and said, "Quick, hide in the closet."
A man came in, and the boy could hear some unexplained sounds, including groans and panting
sounds. Suddenly, the mother heard a car in the driveway. The little boy heard her exclaim to her
visitor, "Quick, hide in the closet!"
The man rushed to the closet and hid. The little boy heard his mother, open the door and greet
his father. The boy says, "It sure is dark in here." The man is almost sweating blood, for fear the
boy will make a commotion. Then, the boy said to the man (hiding in the closet), "Do you want to
buy a baseball card, it's only fifty dollars."
The man is outraged, fifty dollars for a lousy baseball card. He says, "No!"
The little boy says, "If you don't buy the baseball card, I'll scream." The man thinks better of the
situation, and agrees to buy the baseball card.
Soon, the boy's father leaves, and the man sneaks out the back door.
That evening, the father comes home and announces they are going out for dinner, since it is the
little boy's birthday. They go out to dinner, and when the meal is over, they go to the toy store to
buy a present for the boy.
The boy picks out a transformer toy for $49.95. However, the father believes that is too much to
spend, and tells the boy to put it back.
The boy says, "Never mind, I have enough money.", and pulls out the fifty dollar bill.
The father is shocked to see his son with that much money, and demands, "Where did you get that
much money?"
The boy says, "I sold a baseball card."
The father does not believe him, and says, "You're lying about where you got that money. We're
going down to the church, where you can explain to the man, where you got that money."
They go down to the church, and the father pushes the boy into the confession booth.
The boy exclaims, "It sure is dark in here!"
And from the other side of the screen, "Oh, No! Not you again."