That would work on Southwest! Great idea!!
Speaking of Southwest, I miss the comedy routines the crew would perform before, during and after a flight. Another thing 9/11 tood from us.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Southwest flight *** from Los Angeles to Houston. Our flying time is 3 hours and 15 minutes. The weather condition in Houston is expected to be... etc.
This is a non-smoking, non-complaining, non-whining flight. Please keep your seat in an upright position during take-off and landing. If you are not sure that your seat is upright, just adjust it to the most uncomfortable position. Keep your seat belts fastened when the seat belt sign is on and preferably at all times. Seat belts should be fastened low and tight - just as J.Lo wears her pants.
In case of a sudden fall in air pressure in the cabin, oxygen masks will drop from an overhead compartment. We of course don't expect air pressure to fall - otherwise we would have stayed home. But just in case this happens, please attach your own mask and breathe normally -yeah, right! Then help your "husband" and children to put on their masks.
If the aircraft should land in water and evacuation becomes necessary, the seat cushion under your seat can be used as a flotation device. Please strap it on and "kick, paddle, kick, paddle" to the nearest shore. A Southwest employee will follow closely with complimentary peanuts and drinks. If you have more than one child accompanying you, pick up the one with most potential.
Now please relax and enjoy your flight. Remember, you are very sleepy (snore), you are not at all thirsty (snore) and peanuts give you gas (snore).... Thank you for flying Southwest."