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Dating After Divorce: Venturing into The Dark Abyss
www.elitestv.com ^ | Dr. Hu Fleming

Posted on 10/01/2005 7:36:14 AM PDT by teldon30

click here to read article


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To: teldon30

I like the premise of the article.
Rather than follow the formula of complaining about how men do not understand women or vice versa, this one advises that before we can understand the opposite sex, we need to figure out ourselves.
He's done some introspection and has been honest about his discoveries.
Now he needs to write an article on reading comprehension.


21 posted on 10/01/2005 9:54:28 AM PDT by ValerieUSA
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To: teldon30
The $20 bill test. If you both consume alcoholic beverages, when you enter your favorite pub, ask her to order for you, make excuses, and head to the bathroom. Leave a twenty with her.

What did she order? Top shelf? Is that her usual? Is she a power drinker> did she get your order straight? what did she do with the change? did she tip? Your money or hers? You are learning a lot already...

Put the change on the table, and see if..she orders again and uses your money (asks, does not, pays for it herself and buys you one of what you are having?)...

You can eliminate a lot of non-starters for a twenty.

22 posted on 10/01/2005 9:56:31 AM PDT by Smokin' Joe (How often God must weep at humans' folly.)
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To: ValerieUSA

You're absolutely correct. If you don't learn from your past mistakes, you will almost certainly repeat them.


23 posted on 10/01/2005 10:02:33 AM PDT by FreedomAvatar (Gravity is only a theory - Teach the controversy)
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To: MotleyGirl70

No where to go but up then, right?


24 posted on 10/01/2005 10:09:14 AM PDT by Ninian Dryhope
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To: Smokin' Joe

And what does that test say about you that is desirable to women?


25 posted on 10/01/2005 10:13:47 AM PDT by ValerieUSA
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To: Smokin' Joe

If I were say.....a divorced woman out with this man that left the $20 and took off for the john, I'd be thinking,"Hell, I have done enough ordering and doing for the last one I was with, if bathroom boy can't wait to place an order, then to hell with this". Grab the $20 and run!


26 posted on 10/01/2005 10:23:27 AM PDT by moviegirl (there are no problems........only solutions)
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To: moviegirl
LOL! As I said it would be a test.

If that is how you thought, you'd have a lot of holdover resentments you'd be throwing at me at the slightest provocation.

Grade:F (for future? Maybe in a year or two, but definitely not now, if ever).

See how inexpensive it would be for me to find out that you were either not ready for a relationship (no clean slate there!) or simply not the woman for me.

See, I hate being blamed for all the things I did not do.

If you had done nothing but wait for my return, and explained your resentment, that'd have been a plus.

BTW, I live in North Dakota, and it would be eminently civilized to wait until I got to the bar to use the facility instead of just pulling off and urinating on the side of the road--it can be a long way between restrooms here. I'd have been on my best behaviour. (8^D)

27 posted on 10/01/2005 10:32:49 AM PDT by Smokin' Joe (How often God must weep at humans' folly.)
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To: Ninian Dryhope
I'm not that enthused right now.

I just don't want to get burned like that again. It's not fun. Although, I have a feeling more like that will happen. I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience in the world of dating.

28 posted on 10/01/2005 10:36:11 AM PDT by MotleyGirl70
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To: ValerieUSA
See my other post, which puts some of it in context, much of my adult life has been lived in towns which were either booming or gone bust, and generally fairly small towns at that (under 10000). I may seem jaded, but that environment has no shortage of golddiggers, either looking for a ride in or a ride out.

The trick is that no one knows it is a test. That is not announced.

For starters, there is willingness to trust.

For the thoughtful, that I'm not about to saddle some one with a guy who probably won't be compatible. Even if she failed, I'd finish the date, and have fun, but in all likelyhood turn down any offer to spend the night. No point in striking sparks where you don't want a fire.

Keep in mind, too, that when the test was devised, a $20 was a lot more money than it is now. In those days it would buy a couple of cases of beer or a really good steak dinner for two.

29 posted on 10/01/2005 10:48:33 AM PDT by Smokin' Joe (How often God must weep at humans' folly.)
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To: teenyelliott
Changing the subject for a minute...saw your tagline...thought it was interesting....looked at your profile,and...

That photo you posted of the Pearl Harbor vet and the young Marine who was missing his arm is one of the most powerfully moving things I've ever seen!

30 posted on 10/01/2005 11:06:40 AM PDT by Gay State Conservative
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To: maggief

I don't know but i suggest using a mirror unless you wanna hurt your back.


31 posted on 10/01/2005 11:10:24 AM PDT by uncitizen
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To: maggief

I just can't stop LOL'ing at your question.

What navel gazing is i do not know. But i'm sure it's something that women would find disgustingly gross.


32 posted on 10/01/2005 11:16:43 AM PDT by uncitizen
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To: uncitizen; maggief
....guys, navel-gazing, as you well know, doesn’t mean straining to see over that well developed stomach area. It means introspection.

Reading comprehension, people.

33 posted on 10/01/2005 11:25:01 AM PDT by ValerieUSA
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To: ValerieUSA

Well, what's introspection got to do with navels?


34 posted on 10/01/2005 11:28:16 AM PDT by uncitizen
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To: uncitizen
What navel gazing is i do not know. But i'm sure it's something that women would find disgustingly gross.

"Navel gazing" is a term coined during the '60s "Flower Power" era.Roughly translated,it means "looking within your self".Given that it was the '60s,this self reflection was,I believe,meant to be an exercise in narcissism.

35 posted on 10/01/2005 11:28:28 AM PDT by Gay State Conservative
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To: Gay State Conservative

They shoulda picked a less gross sounding term for this "looking within themselves".


36 posted on 10/01/2005 11:29:52 AM PDT by uncitizen
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To: uncitizen
Do more than simply pick lint from your bellybutton. Ladies, sorry if this offends you, but it’s an article addressed to guys.

Just laugh and get over it. Belly laugh if you will.

37 posted on 10/01/2005 11:33:39 AM PDT by ValerieUSA
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To: ValerieUSA; maggief
....guys, navel-gazing, as you well know, doesn’t mean straining to see over that well developed stomach area. It means introspection.

Reading comprehension, people.


I was just trying to have a little fun with this, but i guess this is serious bidness for single people. I'm not single, so i better get outta here.
38 posted on 10/01/2005 11:34:31 AM PDT by uncitizen
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To: Smokin' Joe
The trick is that no one knows it is a test. That is not announced. For starters, there is willingness to trust.

Tricks are for kids... Order your own drink and be honest with people who you want to be honest with you.

39 posted on 10/01/2005 11:37:25 AM PDT by HairOfTheDog (Join the Hobbit Hole Troop Support - http://freeper.the-hobbit-hole.net/)
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To: uncitizen
They shoulda picked a less gross sounding term for this "looking within themselves".

That statement proves that you're not a child of the '60s.The motto of so many such children was(and to all too many,still is) "if it feels good,do it".

40 posted on 10/01/2005 11:44:03 AM PDT by Gay State Conservative
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