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The Maalox and Mylanta Times | 06-October-2005 | Ron Pickrell

Posted on 10/06/2005 9:02:06 PM PDT by pickrell

"Mother? What's new?"

"Well... nothing much. Are you and Peg coming down for Thanksgiving?"

"Well, we'd like to but probably not. The cost of gas is still up there, and-"

"I guess you aren't so proud of that darned Bush of yours now, huh? He's wrecking the country, you know-"

"You mean the way he declared that Iran, Iraq, and North Korea constituted a modern day 'Axis-of-Evil' so many years ago- and your handlers assured you at the time that this was an outrageous thing to say about three peace-loving countries, who wouldn't dream of seeking weapons of mass destruction? What a dangerous maniac, just like that darned Reagan was..."

"Well, your Bush just got us involved in all kinds of things..."

"I know. It pains me to think that Libya is no longer actively working to build nuclear weapons. That's the same Libya, incidentally, that your beloved United Nations assured all of us was absolutely innocent of any nuclear activity whatsoever only a few months earlier. And my heart breaks that the terrorists have been politically forced into a showdown in Iraq, at a place far from your and my homes, where we control the terms of engagement. But then, you haven't been programmed to think about that."

"I haven't been programmed..."

"Sure you have. The very basis for liberalism is never having to say your sorry. Liberals cannot look back and remember what they were told to believe yesterday- it would shatter your tenuous grips on reality as you imagine it.You all eagerly await the nightly programming from your CNN, ABC, CBS and other MSM handlers, where you are told what to think, and what to believe, about every issue the 'mainstream' media decides is important to you.

It's not your fault, really, The world is divided into 'players', who assemble large stables of dupes at their feet, to provide political power that can be wielded for financial gain by the players. The dupes feel that they are being good girls and boys and obediently think what they are told to think. I don't blame you, but I have dropped out of the game of trying to open your eyes.

That's why I don't fear insulting you with the statements I make. Most conservatives don't, because we understand that your need to avoid seeing or hearing anything that might conflict with your world view, as dictated by Dan Rather and his Columbia School of Broadcasting clones, holds little proverbial hands over your ears and eyes so that you might not be infected by probative thought. A week from now, tomorrow, or even by six o'clock this evening, you'll have no idea what we speak of here, now,- only that it was some kind of right-wing crazy talk."

"Well, I know that the world all hates us now..."

"Frenchmen who don't love me? I may not be able to get out of bed, tomorrow. This may be the unkindest cut of all..."


"Never mind. Mother, one of the unspoken reasons I also won't be coming down is that everytime I do, the re-union deteriorates into the same quagmire that this phone call is headed towards. I love seeing family, but I won't ever remain silent again in the face of liberal vitriol. The sixties and seventies are over, and we won't tolerate it any more. I understand that you of the liberal bent are desparately unhappy that lately, no matter how much you trash the accomplishments of the military, and rage about the hopeless and pointless loser that they are in Iraq- that they seem to care less and less each year about the opinions of the steadfast loyal Democratic party.

No matter how much you railed that reforming welfare and emphasizing personal responsibility will put millions out on the street, starving- reduced to eating their old copies of the New York Times- that sadly the unemployment rate has since fallen and that any who care to work have seen the first upward gains in their family's situations in generations; and that those whom you liberals gave fish to, instead of insisting that they get out and fish, will someday look back at those of you who defended and even advocated self-destructive behavior... and you'll have a lot to answer for.

It surely puzzles you good Catholics that no matter how much you faithfully stand with the ACLU and your other allies, and stick behind these tremendously good liberal causes- that somehow, mysteriously, it seems like religious faith continues to be further expelled and quarantined from somehow contaminating the public, that the assault on the nuclear family continues apace, and that things you wouldn't have dreamed of tolerating pre-Clinton... are now things that you, true to your incremental instructions and innoculations, ardently support. It must be Bush's fault somehow; but they just haven't explained to you how such a simple and clueless man... can be so infuriatingly clever; while your brilliant and cherubic allies... can be so helpless when it comes to the mysterious dissolving of all that you used to hold inviolate.

Now, you raised all of us, and sent us to Catholic schools, to respect our parents and family. Accordingly, when I can't find something- anything- nice to say about someone, then I try to just say nothing. But that isn't the same as sitting quietly while liberal poison is being disbursed. What would you have me do? Do you suppose that the Berliners who remained quiet in the night at the sound of the krystalnacht-"

"The what?"

"- {sigh}...the night of the breaking glass in NAZI Germany, when it finally became apparent what passive acceptance of evil would reap. Were they good sons? Would you have been proud of them, sitting quietly and accepting the evil? Should they have simply tuned into Radio Berlin and absorbed their beliefs from Herr Goebels- nee Rather- aka Brokaw- or perhaps Cindy Sheehan (before the sex change operation)? I notice we haven't seen Martin Sheen and Cindy Sheehan in the same room together. Like Speaker of the House Foley once said about Bush senior, and the SR-71 slander- '...The seriousness of the charge necessitates an investigation...' Hmmmm?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Nothing. I just wonder sometimes, how many of my brother conservatives find themselves in the same position I am in- unable to reconcile a wish to bond with family members...with the inability to any longer disregard their parallel responsibility to speak out against the kind of reckless disregard that shields the liberals. And it is reckless disregard. Not murder, not even negligent homicide. You aren't aware enough to be actually complicit.

But when the dupes eagerly participate in their own destruction, and encourage the enemies of America- those wrecking balls of: self-determination, responsibility for personal decisions, acceptance of duty to God, Country, neighborhood, and family... it becomes very hard to remain a quiet conservative, foregoing response at the Thanksgiving table to the vicious attacks; remaining congenial and unperturbed as the aging hippies in the family attempt to pass their distortions of history on to the nephews and nieces.

Patiently debating is like arguing with an answering machine, and obviously no more productive. But considering all the little ears around, some bile cannot go unanswered.

Perhaps, I'll even ask my fellow conservatives someday, when the news is slow, about how they handle the holidays. I'll have the time, since this year- I elect to defer the ritual yearly visit to Gomorrah...." "What?"

"Never mind. Have a good Thanksgiving. Say hello to all the turkeys..."


"Bad connection on this end, apparently. I'll call as Christmas nears...."

KEYWORDS: familyconflict; holidays

1 posted on 10/06/2005 9:02:06 PM PDT by pickrell
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To: pickrell

Out-STANDING! I need to make copies so I can pass them out without speaking, LOL!

2 posted on 10/06/2005 9:20:03 PM PDT by Humidston (It's Bush's fault)
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