Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

To: macamadamia

You're telling me . . .


111 posted on 11/15/2005 3:01:54 PM PST by Caveman Lawyer
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 15 | View Replies ]


To: Caveman Lawyer
Cirroc, its you!! Here's one of your greatest moments in the courtroom:


Judge: Mr. Cirroc, are you ready to give your summation?

Cirroc: [ stepping out] It's just "Cirroc", your Honor.. and, yes, I'm ready.
[ approaches the jury box ]
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I'm just a caveman. I fell on some ice and later got thawed out by some of your scientists. Your world frightens and confuses me! Sometimes the honking horns of your traffic make me want to get out of my BMW.. and run off into the hills, or wherever.. Sometimes when I get a message on my fax machine, I wonder: "Did little demons get inside and type it?" I don't know! My primitive mind can't grasp these concepts. But there is one thing I do know - when a man like my client slips and falls on a sidewalk in front of a public library, then he is entitled to no less than two million in compensatory damages, and two million in punitive damages. Thank you.

Judge: The jury will now retire to deliberate.

Jury Foreman: Your Honor.. we don't need to retire. Cirroc's words are just as true now as they were in his time. We give him the full amount.

[ the jury applauds Cirroc ]

Judge: Did you hear that, Mr. Cirroc?

Cirroc: [ cell phone to his ear ] Hang on a second.. [ to the judge ] I'm sorry, your Honor. I was listening to the magic voices coming out of this strange modern invention!

120 posted on 11/15/2005 3:35:09 PM PST by macamadamia (The great dangerous non-sequitur du jour: oil-independence will stop terrorism.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 111 | View Replies ]

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article


FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson