"Is this difficult to cope with?"
The multitude of times I reference differences between males and females in the multitude of posts I made here should answer your question.....
It didn't really. I think your emphasis is consistently misplaced in that it comes across as you seeking some equality of punishment, when there is a consensus (which you may or may not share) that there isn't a full equality of the dynamics of the two different situations.
Why should the punishment be equal (or comperable) when the violation is of a different nature? That's the question for me, and the answer is (to me, and to most) that it shouldn't be equal.