Nobody suggested 'all of us,' so your reference to that is incongruous and misplaced.
As for ex hubby's opinion, guys who have been cuckolded by their attractive wives and a teenage boy might just harbor quite a bit negativity towards their brides. Reliance on his perspective is misplaced, also. He has no clarity on the matter and has been sexually humiliated by a teenage boy - a tough one to bounce back from in the men's locker room.
Again, there is no double standard (two standards for the same thing), but rather a broad (but not complete) consensus that there are two standards for two different things. Most people find an adult male having a sexual liason with a teenage girl to be more serious problem than an adult woman having a sexual liason with a teenage boy.
I knew I could depend on you to clarify everything for me. I am so clueless. Thanks.