Skip to comments.Cuddling cowboys movie? No thanks, not interested
Posted on 01/06/2006 7:59:36 AM PST by SmithL
I remember the moment I first saw the trailer for "Brokeback Mountain," the movie that has captured critics' hearts. I leaned over to my wife, Faith, and gently whispered into her ear: "Well, it's about time. America has been needing a movie about gay cowboys."
I've always wondered how they whiled away the long nights on the prairie. And why it took four weeks to drive the herd to market. Now we know what Tonto really meant with all that talk about his "kemo sabe."
So "Brokeback Mountain" is already a classic? I think David Letterman may have put it best: "If you enjoy seeing men kiss, then this is the movie to see."
Critics have described the film as "an epic love story," photographed with "heart-pounding beauty" and "unmissable." And who am I to argue with epic love or, for that matter, heart-pounding beauty? "Unmissable" is a whole other issue. There are so many things I'd rather do than see this film. Clean the garage. Paint the house. Resod the neighborhood.
Of all the mental images I will allow to claim space in my head, broad-shouldered cowboys cuddling in a bedroll is not one. Even though I'm certain it is a tender moment of silver screen magic. Sort of like "Casablanca," only with men.
We'll always have that night on the range, Ennis.
And before we go any further, let me make a request: Kindly hold the hate mail. I'm not a close-minded, insensitive, homophobic skinhead. I have a full head of hair.
I don't want to see this movie for the same reasons I don't attend Russian spelling bees or read books about nuclear physics. I have a hard time relating to the subject matter. (And again, in the interest of sensitivity, I have nothing against Russian spellers or nuclear physicists.)
The commercials for "Brokeback Mountain" keep sneaking onto my TV set, and my mind wanders in places in shouldn't go. What about Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid? What about Wyatt Earp and Doc Holliday? Roy Rogers? Gene Autry? Shane? What about all those lonely gunhands holed up at the Alamo for all those nights and days?
My hat's off to anyone who finds love. Men with women. Women with women. Men with men. But I don't plan to spend $12 and set aside two hours to watch it consummated under 10-gallon hats.
Faith thinks I'm sadly predictable in this regard, which is why she saw the film without me. She thinks I'm too conventional, and maybe she's right. I'm not even sure I want to see "King Kong": I'm not all that comfortable with a gigantic ape dating a 37-year-old blonde.
I love some of the radio responses.
Rush said that Hollywood would do better if it had more gay characters. And Savage called it, "Bareback Mountain".
I'm still laughing at their reprobate failings that led to this stupid idea, straight from Romans 1. =]
Or a movie about two sodomizing horses.
Forget the gay factor for a second. This movie is about two cheaters. The fact that their infidelity is being glorified is more disgusting than their sexual preference.
What another load of Hollywood horsecrap.
So, that's why he said "I only have eyes for ewe".
The sheep were skittish for quite a while.......then, one night, things settled down.....
Even the ones born and raised in El Paso?
Are you still beating this dead horse? Don't like it? Don't see it. Easy as that.
And FYI, for those of you who are clueless, "Eating Pudding" is a lesbian term.
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