Posted on 02/05/2006 9:35:46 AM PST by raccoonradio
Despite the high risk of having your good name and credit besmirched, you may be one of the vanishing breed who enjoys having The Boston Globe home-delivered. Ask yourself these questions:
Do you have a trust fund?
Have you seen “Brokeback Mountain” - more than once?
Do you refuse to peel the Kerry-Edwards sticker off your car?
Do you always say “Happy holidays?”
Did you go to a Democratic caucus yesterday to vote for Deval Patrick?
Answering yes to any of the above questions indicates that you may well find the Globe almost as indispensable to daily life as Michael Moore’s Web site. But if your answers were no, no, no, no and no, it’s time you joined the fastest-growing demographic group in Massachusetts - ex-Globe subscribers.
Just last Wednesday, 200 subscribers to the fake-but-accurate journal wised up and said, as one, “Pound sand, Pinch.” (Arthur "Pinch" Sulzberger)
Q. What do the carpetbaggers of Morrissey Boulevard call a day on which 200 readers cancel their subscriptions?
A. A good day.
Bad enough their daily drumbeat for gay “marriage,” illegal aliens and higher taxes. Now the out-of-state drifters who mismanage the boring broadsheet have literally put the names of more than 200,000 loyal subscribers and their credit-card numbers out on the street.
The irony is, the Globe’s parent company is that floundering dinosaur corporation known as The New York Times. The Beautiful People of 42nd Street are stamping their Birkenstocks and pouting because the Bush administration has engaged in “domestic spying.” The GOP has been “eavesdropping” on what Jayson Blair’s colleagues assure us are “Americans” who just happen to be in contact with al-Qaeda operatives overseas.
For this, the Old Pink Lady wants Bush impeached.
But when the Times’ blow-in straw bosses flat-out violate the privacy rights of more than 200,000 Americans, well, that’s just an unfortunate mistake. Just monitor your credit charges very carefully and await instructions from Massa Sulzberger, which will arrive via snail mail.
In spite of everything, the Globe retains a dwindling core of Kool-Aid constituents, and perhaps you’re among them.
Are you a vegan?
Do you vote for every Prop 2 1/2 override because it’s an “investment in the future” and it’s “for the children?”
Do you enjoy seeing stills on the metro page that were obviously taken from porn movies, with captions asserting that the actors are actually American soldiers raping Iraqi women?
Are you backing Sen. Jarrett Barrios for Middlesex DA?
Do you think Steve Lynch has “grown” in office?
Do you prefer reading fiction to nonfiction?
I joined the stampede of ex-subscribers many years ago. I’m a white male heterosexual Irish Catholic who was born and raised in New England and went to a state college. If I had any more strikes against me, my name would be Steve Murphy.
I hear people say, well, I only get it for the sports page. I got news for you: Will McDonough ain’t walking through that door, and when was the last time Peter Gammons wrote for the daily? If you need endless Red Sox worship, there are four or five radio and TV stations dedicated to 24/7 jock-sniffing.
Go ahead, Globe, mail me another free-subscription offer. I’ll send back your post-paid envelope, empty. Another 39 cents off the bottom line of the PC Police. Every little bit helps.
Gotta love Howie. I can't wait to read his new book.
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