Do you remember a skit on Mike Meyers/Dana Carvey era SNL about Happy Fun Ball? "Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball." It would be hysterical to substitute Ace's Scar for Happy Fun Ball.
Caution: Ace's Scar may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.
Ace's Scar contains a liquid core, which if exposed due to rupture should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.
Do not use Ace's Scar on concrete.
Discontinue use of Ace's Scar if any of the following occurs:
* Itching
* Vertigo
* Dizziness
* Tingling in extremities
* Loss of balance or coordination
* Slurred speech
* Temporary blindness
* Profuse Sweating
or
* Heart palpitations
If Ace's Scar begins to smoke, get away immediately.
Seek shelter and cover head.
Ace's Scar may stick to certain types of skin.
When not in use, Ace's Scar should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration.
Failure to do so relieves the makers of Ace's Scar, Wacky Products Incorporated, and its parent company, Global Chemical Unlimited, of any and all liability.
Ingredients of Ace's Scar include an unknown glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.
Ace's Scar has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.
Do not taunt Ace's Scar.
Ace's Scar comes with a lifetime guarantee
Get outta my head! :)
I was about to include that in Maggie's prize last night, in fine print:
Ace's Scar is illegal in 28 states and Puerto Rico.
Ace's Scar should never be applied to bare skin.
Ace's Scar hates water.
Ace's Scar must be fed three times a day.
If Ace's Scar tells you to do something, we advise you to do it.
Ace's Scar answers to no man.
That's all I could think of :)