Replies

While doing search for American Idol articles I ran across this. Now don't slam me due to where it comes from, but I was curious to see what they had to say about Ace so I decided to read it. Some of it turned out to be pretty funny... They "bash" on all of them but this writer favors (favored) Chicken Little and not Ace.

Here is a few tidbits...
(the article is 3 pages long)

Seacrest introduces the top 11 and they all trot out to take their applause. Pickler seems out of it. She’s got dead-eye face until she remembers she’s on a stage where people can see her, not hiding in a fort she made out of the box the washing machine came in. That’s when she turns on the Pageant Grimace. It’s a small moment, but it’ll return for an encore later…

This week’s special celebrity oldster is Barry Manilow. Barry is, after all these years, still phenomenally popular. He was the Clay Aiken of the 1970s, but even more successful than Clay, in an era when it was still impolite to publicly speculate on the sexual orientation of a male performer, even if he played piano for Bette Midler in gay bathhouses. Barry’s latest CD, a collection of boring cover versions of 1950s songs, is the number 1 record in the country, so he’s spent the week with the AI kids, arranging and coaching and freaking them out with his immobile face. His jaw moves when he speaks, and that’s how you know he’s still alive.

Last week Simon tried to emasculate Bucky the Babymaker by comparing his gleaming blond hair to Jessica Simpson’s. This must have stung poor Bucky, because it appears as though he hasn’t washed his hair since then. He was right to do that, because he ain’t the man I’ve come to know and love without his trademark layer of grime.

Seacrest, introducing Captain Caveman Elliott, busts out his “A” material and makes jokes about Simon being so old he actually remembers the 1950s.

Back in the studio, the crowd is cheering for Barry, making it hard for him to focus on Seacrest’s questions. Barry cannot not respond to a cheering crowd. He’s so old-school that if an audience is making a ruckus for him, he can’t help himself. He has to acknowledge them. “My public!” appears in a thought bubble over his head. Barry begins to sing “Love Is a Many-Splendored Thing” and HOLY CRAP IT’S BOBBY BENNETT!!!!!

Perhaps you remember Bobby Bennett. The big boy with the Jackie Gleason vibe and the gay way of clapping. The BARRY MANILOW OBSESSIVE. There he is, standing up in the audience, swaying to Barry, clasping his hands together like an excited schoolgirl for Barry, ready to leap up onto the stage to hump the leg of Barry.

Does Barry know that this kid is in the same building? Are his bodyguards standing by? Because it’s gonna be Rupert Pupkin time up in here if he doesn’t. Cut to Katherine McPhee laughing her head off, but no cut to what she’s laughing at. And then we know. The song stops and Bobby Bennett rushes the stage to bear-hug Barry. “I’LL BE IN VEGAS ON THE 12TH!” Bobby Bennett shouts at Barry’s face. Barry, quickly attempting to disguise himself as Santa Claus, exclaims, laughing, “Oh, ho ho ho! Come see my show!” Bobby Bennett is led away from Barry and his crushed vertebrae.

The rest of it is here....

http://www.advocate.com/exclusive_detail_ektid28292.asp

"The best part happens at the end:
Paula is standing, dancing, waving her hands in the air, like she does, and then Taylor—hip cocked out, shoulders hunched, neck squooshed down, and left arm contorted into a triangle—ends with a note of seriously bugged-out finality, his left hand zapping the judges with what can only be Invisible Magic Saxophone–Fortified “Love Me!” Jizz, impregnating them all with adoration for Whatever the Hell That Was He Just Did.

Cut to a child yawning in the audience"

This is solid comedy.

>>>This week’s special celebrity oldster is Barry Manilow. Barry is, after all these years, still phenomenally popular. He was the Clay Aiken of the 1970s, but even more successful than Clay, in an era when it was still impolite to publicly speculate on the sexual orientation of a male performer, even if he played piano for Bette Midler in gay bathhouses. Barry’s latest CD, a collection of boring cover versions of 1950s songs, is the number 1 record in the country.<<<

That's OK. Barry is on his way to becoming a Gay Gazillionnaire, like Liberace. He has just re-upped his contract for his Vegas Show, until 2008.

I thought Manilow was very gracious with the AI kids. He is always on the lookout for new talent for his successful enterprises, so the kids would do well to be nice to him.

OMG! This gay reviewer is a riot. Here's what he said about Mandisa last week:

And she’s great tonight, finally singing softly with some guts instead of just foghorning her way through it. When she opens her mouth wide, though, you can see that her tongue is all orange. Someone was snacking on Cheetos, Sunkist soda, and circus peanuts before the show. Afterward, Paula says, “You took me right back to the ’50s.” Except that Paula wasn’t even born then. Then Seacrest, in an archetypal Type 3 Gay moment (see last week’s recap for an explanation of Type 3 Gay, because I don’t have time to explain it again), coos over Mandisa’s shoes. Cut to Mandisa’s well-pedicured toes for the second time in as many weeks. You just know that every dude in the country with a thing for BBWs and feet is having a very good TV-watching time tonight.