Posted on 06/28/2006 9:00:54 PM PDT by Huntress
Certainly, it's a wrenching decision.
The following are from this shrink's perspective and I don't pretend that one size fits all.
You don't say how old you are.
But I think that one measure of maturity is how decisive one can be on a rational basis with hard decisions.
Emotional attachments make such decisions harder but not harder beyond handling.
I'd encourage you to step back however many hours you can manage to--whether that's 4 or 8, 12, 24, 48 hours or whatever. Take some walks. Spend some time in nature.
Personally, I would think that the following points would be useful to review:
1. The memories of the great benefits that Norman has been to you will be forever regardless of whether Norman dies of a heartattack in his sleep tonight; gets mushed by a car tomorrow or dies on the operating table or recuperates over a long time through painful surgery and it's aftermath and gives you another X months of companionship . . . or not.
2. Norman is a pet. Norman is an animal. He's not God. He's not your first born son. He's not food. He's not shelter. He's not clothing. He's not transportation. He's not even a good orgasm. He's 'just' a pet.
3. Guilt doesn't need to have a single thing to do with it. You have provided Norman a great home and companionship for a long time. Norman has benefitted at least as much as you have compared to his struggles in the wild.
4. So, Norman may be graduating from this life sooner than anticipated. Who are you to say that's not fitting? Who are you to say he must endure a painful surgery and recooperation for your pleasure, peace of mind and comfort zones?
5. IF, IF, IF, IF, IF, you were filthy rich . . .
and
IF, IF, IF, IF, IF, you didn't care even 0.0000001% about what it would be like for Norman to endure the surgery and recooperation . . . .
I suppose the surgery MIGHT BY SOME STRETCH make more sense. As I see it, neither of those are NECESSARILY TRUE.
6. Celebrate Norman's life. Celebrate all you've gained from him. Write poems; take pictures; build a shrine. But don't worship the fool cat. He's a cat. A wonderful warm fuzzy cat--but a cat. He's not Nirvana. He's certainly not Christ's Second Coming.
7. But once you've celebrated and wished him well in his graduating and whatever state dead beloved pets end up in--give him a gracious painless send-off with a clear conscience that you've given him the best of your life that you had to give as he did you. And Let it Be.
8. Personally, at some point, putting animals through hurculean medical gymnastics and hoop jumping . . . for our own insecurities and selfish pleasures . . . is more than a little . . . excessive.
7. Get a new cat when you're ready. I might recommend Burmese--incredibly smart but also incredibly affectionate and gentle. Some are given to learning to play ball with paper wad balls and can even learn to fetch such balls.
imho, fwiw, of course.
Don't know where you live, but try to get an opinion from a farm vet, one who works on livestock as well as dogs and cats. The city poodle specialists take themselves way too seriously, as they count on gullible folks who will pay any price to save Fifi.
- - - -
I rather agree.
And, Huntress, I suggest you write down:
10 things Norman
MIGHT ADD
to you if he lived another 1-2 years.
vs
10 things you might most meaningfully do for yourself, children, house, . . . comptuer . . . garden . . . another cat
with the $1,800.
Sleep on the comparison.
P.S. Brace yourself for a bushel of tasteless Chinese restaurant jokes on this thread.
- - - -
What's a matter? You got some-ting against
TIGER & PHOENIX dish?
Excellent! Had I put my diabetic to sleep as was suggested I would have done so needlessly. He is almost off of insulin completely and is a playful, muscular snobby tom cat. I would have wasted a life.
A worthy perspective . . . depending on the individual specifics in this case.
I have long thought that was one of the absolute best examples of absurdity that has ever been.
On the other hand . . . reverence for life is not at all a bad thing . . . provided folks don't go absolutely gahgah bonkers with it.
Excellent points, imho.
Extremely excellent suggestions, imho.
I have two kitties and I wouldn't even think about having either one of the operated on. I'd just do what ever was needed to save their lives. They are my family and when I adopted them, I knew that I would have to get them treatment no matter the cost. They trust me to love them as much as they love me, and to do the right thing by them. If you can afford it, I'd do it tomorrow, or you will regret it.
VERY TRUE!!
Excellent points bump.
YOU HAVE TO READ THIS...
For cats who continue to experience urethral obstruction despite proper medical management, a surgical procedure called a perineal urethrostomy may be suggested. The surgery involves removing much of the penis and the narrow portion of the urethra, leaving a wider opening for the remaining portion. Side effects of surgery can include bleeding for up to ten days after surgery, narrowing at the surgical site, urinary incontinence, and a greater incidence of other kinds of bladder diseases. For these reasons, perineal urethrostomy is usually considered to be a last resort.
http://www.vet.cornell.edu/fhc/resources/brochure/urinary.html
Sorry, my limit on cats is $24.99.
Most vets are willing to work out a payment plan. Ask if you can pay smaller payments instead of one lump sum. Or, get a 0% credit card, charge the vet bill and take a year to pay for it interest free.
I spent close to $800 to save my precious 11 year old cat. She has given me so much love, there is nothing I wouldn't do to help her. She's 11 and pulled through with flying colors!
I hate to say it, but put the cat down. Buy a new cat, make a donation to an animal shelter in your old cat's memory and move on.
1800 is a lot of money to spend on a cat.
Please read here...
http://www.sniksnak.com/cathealth/fusfaqs.html
What quality of life would the cat have after surgery?
One of my cats required surgery to remove a swallowed thread that had wrapped around his tongue and lodged in his gut [Cat people, be very careful with thread, string, and yard. You cannot be too cautious.]. That was years ago, and Wilbur is fine, and now 10 years old. The surgery was not cheap. Do I regret it? No.
Another cat became diabetic. For years, I gave him insulin twice daily, which meant I had to be there to give him an injection twice daily, and routinely use the same kind of glucometer human diabetics use. People thought I was crazy, but I kept him going this way for nearly 3 years, then managed his condition with a drastic diet change. [Cat people, DRY FOOD IS NOT FOR CATS! All dry food contains higher levels of carbohydrates than felines can properly handle. Cats are obligate carnivores--dry cat food leads to diabetes in felines. www.felinediabetes.com (they aren't selling anything!).] The meat-based diet isn't cheap either, but Pyewackett has slimmed down and bounces again. He's 13. Do I regret paying for these things? No.
In both cases, the cats have excellent quality of life--they play, they sleep, they have several windows to watch tasty birds walk across porch roofs. I would not keep an animal alive for my sake alone--in the past year I euthanized one aging cat who was fading before my eyes.
Ask your vet if you can work out a payment plan in advance.
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