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Awkward moments abound in penis pump trial (TRY IF YOU CAN, FROM NOT LAUGHING HISTERICALLY)
Yahoo News ^ | June 28, 2006 | SHAUN SCHAFER

Posted on 06/29/2006 12:45:04 PM PDT by seasoned traditionalist

BRISTOW, Okla. - Serving on the jury in an indecent-exposure trial unfolding in this conservative Oklahoma town has been a giggle-inducing experience. Former Judge Donald D. Thompson, a veteran of 23 years on the bench, is on trial on charges he used a penis pump on himself in the courtroom while sitting in judgment of others. The white-handled sexual device sits before the jury box for hours at a time. Occasionally an attorney picks it up and squeezes the handle, demonstrating the "sh-sh" sound of air rushing through the contraption's plastic tubing. The jurors sometimes exchange awkward looks and break into nervous laughter when the testimony takes a lurid turn.

(Excerpt) Read more at news.yahoo.com ...


TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: abusing; amusementparkbody; during; judge; self; trial
Don't know if this is where this should be posted. If not, Mods will move it.

While this is a sad commentary on an (I hope isloated) matter involving an "abuse" (pun intended) of judicial ethics, it is just too humorous to share.

With all sad and unsettling news of late, a little levity is in order.

1 posted on 06/29/2006 12:45:07 PM PDT by seasoned traditionalist
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To: seasoned traditionalist
A doctor has lectured on the lengths the defendant was willing to go to enhance his sexual performance.

ROTFLMAO...

2 posted on 06/29/2006 12:46:58 PM PDT by Philistone (Turning lead into gold...)
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To: Xenalyte

Here we go again...


3 posted on 06/29/2006 12:47:47 PM PDT by TommyDale (Stop the Nifongery!)
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To: seasoned traditionalist

Really, baby, it's not mine...


4 posted on 06/29/2006 12:48:23 PM PDT by Siouxz ( Freepers are the best!!!)
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To: seasoned traditionalist

"Approach the bench" has never sounded so scary.


5 posted on 06/29/2006 12:49:27 PM PDT by atomicpossum (Replies must follow approved guidelines or you will be kill-filed without appeal.)
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To: seasoned traditionalist

He is facing a stiff sentence, charged with four felony counts.

6 posted on 06/29/2006 12:49:41 PM PDT by Diogenesis (Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum)
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To: atomicpossum
Erect, behind his wife and lawyer.


7 posted on 06/29/2006 12:51:37 PM PDT by Diogenesis (Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum)
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To: seasoned traditionalist

Wonder if this trial will end in a hung jury......


8 posted on 06/29/2006 12:51:48 PM PDT by NRA1995 (Zarqawi died, liberals cried....)
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To: seasoned traditionalist

These charges seem inflated to me. I did hear that the judge kept falling asleep after he yelled out the judgement.


9 posted on 06/29/2006 12:52:38 PM PDT by posterchild (Fresh out of compassion. How about some limited government?)
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To: Siouxz

If Rush had one of these, would Customs have confiscated it?


10 posted on 06/29/2006 12:52:38 PM PDT by reformedjournalist
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To: seasoned traditionalist

The question is: will it stand up in court?


11 posted on 06/29/2006 12:52:57 PM PDT by Michael_Michaelangelo (The best theory is not ipso facto a good theory.)
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To: seasoned traditionalist

Are his friends sticking up for him?


12 posted on 06/29/2006 12:53:08 PM PDT by DaveLoneRanger (If you're proud to hold the American Flag, then the Flag is proud to be held by you.)
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To: seasoned traditionalist

Clinton apointee?


13 posted on 06/29/2006 12:53:26 PM PDT by Screamname (Why the hell is Kathy Boudin out on parole??)
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To: Xenalyte; Allegra; Hap; Bacon Man; Flyer; pax_et_bonum

Perennial Penis Pump Ping!


14 posted on 06/29/2006 12:55:00 PM PDT by humblegunner (If you're gonna die, die with your boots on.)
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To: seasoned traditionalist
"Will the court please rise?"


15 posted on 06/29/2006 12:55:10 PM PDT by PBRSTREETGANG
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To: seasoned traditionalist



If I was his wife I would tell him to stick it!


16 posted on 06/29/2006 12:55:10 PM PDT by Ditter
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To: seasoned traditionalist

Is that a gavel under your robe, or are you just happy to be appointed?


17 posted on 06/29/2006 12:55:27 PM PDT by posterchild (Fresh out of compassion. How about some limited government?)
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To: seasoned traditionalist

"Objection over-ruled...pssst psst..Yeahh"

18 posted on 06/29/2006 12:56:16 PM PDT by Screamname (Why the hell is Kathy Boudin out on parole??)
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To: seasoned traditionalist

This could result in "hard time" for the judge.


19 posted on 06/29/2006 12:56:21 PM PDT by PBRSTREETGANG
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To: humblegunner
Perennial Penis Pump Ping!

humble, you're killing me!

lol!

20 posted on 06/29/2006 12:57:13 PM PDT by pax_et_bonum (Whatever happened to Cynthia McKinney?)
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To: seasoned traditionalist

All rise ....


21 posted on 06/29/2006 12:58:11 PM PDT by clamper1797 (CAPITAL LETTERS SUGGEST SOME IMBALANCE IN THE MIND OF THEIR EMPLOYER.)
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To: seasoned traditionalist

Swedish-made penis enlargement pumps, they're not my bag, baby !!

22 posted on 06/29/2006 12:58:28 PM PDT by Salgak (Acme Lasers presents: The Energizer Border: I dare you to try and cross it. . .)
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To: seasoned traditionalist

He's probably going to get a stiff sentence for this


23 posted on 06/29/2006 12:59:28 PM PDT by clamper1797 (CAPITAL LETTERS SUGGEST SOME IMBALANCE IN THE MIND OF THEIR EMPLOYER.)
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To: seasoned traditionalist

This is a fun thread ... I hope it doesn't peter out


24 posted on 06/29/2006 1:01:48 PM PDT by clamper1797 (CAPITAL LETTERS SUGGEST SOME IMBALANCE IN THE MIND OF THEIR EMPLOYER.)
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To: seasoned traditionalist
Was it one of these ???


25 posted on 06/29/2006 1:02:17 PM PDT by Salgak (Acme Lasers presents: The Energizer Border: I dare you to try and cross it. . .)
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To: PBRSTREETGANG
BREAKING

THIS JUST IN -
X42 and Al Gore have each rushed to file their own
Amicus Briefs supporting the Defendant,


26 posted on 06/29/2006 1:02:44 PM PDT by Diogenesis (Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum)
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To: seasoned traditionalist

What case was the good judge trying when he committed his transgression? A stock fraud case of pump and dump?


27 posted on 06/29/2006 1:06:18 PM PDT by 2 Kool 2 Be 4-Gotten
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To: seasoned traditionalist

Justice goes blind.


28 posted on 06/29/2006 1:07:01 PM PDT by posterchild (Fresh out of compassion. How about some limited government?)
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To: humblegunner; Xenalyte; Allegra; Hap; Bacon Man; Flyer; pax_et_bonum

His lawyer has things well in hand. "This will never stand up in a court of law", barked the arngy barrister.

Clearly these are hard times, but it is not time to go soft on these crimes.

The jury while pumped up by the evidence, seemed to be groping for a firmer understanding of the fine points. The foreman, Mr. Johnson, was content with the bare facts, while others stuggled to get a grip on things.

The defendant appeared flaccid, uh placid, as he sat behind the great table. "Justice will come eventually", he said.


29 posted on 06/29/2006 1:10:17 PM PDT by NonLinear (He's dead, Jim)
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To: TommyDale; Perdogg; humblegunner; Allegra; Bacon Man; Hap; Flyer; Froufrou

This is my favorite story of ALL TIME.


30 posted on 06/29/2006 1:19:17 PM PDT by Xenalyte (I want you to remember this face. This is the guy behind the guy behind the guy.)
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To: Xenalyte

Ginsburg: "Like the terrorists today, we'll get him off when he gets here."

31 posted on 06/29/2006 1:21:35 PM PDT by Diogenesis (Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum)
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To: Xenalyte
Thompson took the stand in his own defense, saying the device was a gag gift from a longtime friend with whom he had joked about erectile dysfunction. He said he kept the pump under the bench or in his office but didn't use it.

Well there you go, right there he lied! Wonder how he explained this little 'gag' gift to his wife...?
32 posted on 06/29/2006 1:23:42 PM PDT by Froufrou
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To: posterchild

"I did hear that the judge kept falling asleep after he yelled out the judgement."

Someone else said that, for no apparent reason, he had sudden urge to have smoke!


33 posted on 06/29/2006 1:24:22 PM PDT by Bigh4u2 (Denial is the first requirement to be a liberal)
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To: Bigh4u2
"Someone else said that, for no apparent reason, he had sudden urge to have smoke! "

He had A sudden urge to have A smoke!

My brain must be against "A's" today!

LOL!
34 posted on 06/29/2006 1:28:10 PM PDT by Bigh4u2 (Denial is the first requirement to be a liberal)
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To: Diogenesis
Bill Clinton says, "I firmly endorse the penis pump!"


35 posted on 06/29/2006 1:59:28 PM PDT by PBRSTREETGANG
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To: Diogenesis

Phoneys. Too bad that pic of Dick Cheney is banned on FR.


36 posted on 06/29/2006 2:01:15 PM PDT by cyborg (then comes baby in the baby carriage)
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To: seasoned traditionalist

In his bid for the supreme court he thought is was an erection, not election.


37 posted on 06/29/2006 2:49:35 PM PDT by 359Henrie
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To: 2 Kool 2 Be 4-Gotten; All
The replies are almost as good as the story.

So to add my own little retort: "Can't wait to see whether he gets convicted, or 'get's off'?"

As for your question: "What case was the good judge trying when he committed his transgression? A stock fraud case of pump and dump?"

"Thompson's former court reporter, Lisa Foster, wiped away tears as she described tracing an unfamiliar "sh-sh" in the courtroom to her boss. She testified that between 2001 and 2003 she saw Thompson expose himself at least 15 times.

"I was really shocked and I was kind of scared because it was so bizarre," said Foster.

She testified that during a trial in 2002, she heard the pump during the emotional testimony of a murdered toddler's grandfather.

The grandfather "was getting real teary-eyed, and the judge was up there pumping on that pump," she said. "It was sickening."

I can only wonder if Foster's tears were that of sorrow or of laughter?

38 posted on 06/29/2006 3:41:06 PM PDT by seasoned traditionalist (ALL MUSLIMS ARE NOT TERRORISTS, BUT ALL TERRORISTS ARE MUSLIMS)
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To: Bigh4u2

Stuff like this just doesn't happen in a vacuum.


39 posted on 06/29/2006 4:38:56 PM PDT by posterchild (Fresh out of compassion. How about some limited government?)
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To: seasoned traditionalist
Sh-Sh.
40 posted on 06/29/2006 4:54:06 PM PDT by Mike Darancette (Make them go home!!)
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To: martin_fierro

qualify for ish ping?


41 posted on 06/29/2006 7:41:27 PM PDT by rzeznikj at stout (ASCII and ye shall receive... (Computers 3:14))
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To: Diogenesis

I can't believe these loyal wives. I am sorry but if it were MY husband caught pumping his penis in view of the court reporter in the middle of murder trials and tearful testimony, I would not be walking into the courtroom with him at his trial! What is she saying? He is innocent? Or, he may be a perv, but he is MY perv?


42 posted on 06/29/2006 7:46:23 PM PDT by Yaelle
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To: reformedjournalist
If Rush had one of these, would Customs have confiscated it?

If Rush had one of these, the photo would be on the top of every TV newscast and above the fold in the NYT. There would be colorful graphics on the MSM news demonstrating its use with labels like "Limbaugh's penis" and "pumping device." Heck, no, they would probably put "Limbaugh's ALLEGED penis."

43 posted on 06/29/2006 7:50:05 PM PDT by Yaelle
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To: rzeznikj at stout
qualify for ish ping?

Yesterday, my son.

44 posted on 06/29/2006 8:16:30 PM PDT by martin_fierro (It's all about meme)
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To: martin_fierro

Didn't see it in my list of pings. Oh well...8^)


45 posted on 06/30/2006 2:45:26 PM PDT by rzeznikj at stout (ASCII and ye shall receive... (Computers 3:14))
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To: seasoned traditionalist
"I still use those," Dakil testified.

Brewster paused.

"Not you, personally?" he asked.

"No," Dakil responded as jurors laughed. "I recommend those as a urologist."

I don't care who you are, that's funny right there..

46 posted on 07/01/2006 2:56:58 AM PDT by csvset ("It was like the hand of G_d slapping down and smashing everything." ~ JDAM strikes Taliban)
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