My neighbor once asked me to light up her gas grill. A freind of hers just blew one up and she was scared to light it. I went into my house to get some matches and stopped at my small stash of M-80's. I lit the M-80 and tossed it on the ground, as I leaned over the grill pretending to light it, she came out on her deck. I've got my head down over the grill and BOOOOOM! I grab my face and start screaming.
They were good neighbors, I wonder why they moved?
Dude, what the hell is wrong with you!!!
LOL
Ha! I was chopping onions for simmering hotdogs in beer around noon on a saturday, something exciting just appeared on the tv so I looked up and sliced my finger - not really bad, but good enough that there was blood running freely. My teenager and his buddy were on the sofa, so I said I cut off the tip of my thumb as I held up my bloody hand. Then I sliced the tip of a hotdog, smeared it with the blood and threw it at them.
It landed in one of their laps and they just froze, motionless. Another good laugh for the old man.