"If I Can't..." is actually a super short song, like 60 seconds long. Roger did it on TNN in the late 80s or so.
Here's the lyrics taken from the ultimate song resource from Australia - www.rogermillermusic.com - that's the website to check out that you asked about.
Lyrics:
Oh the ways of love are hard enough, to understand as it is
Without you going out on me, and hurtin’ me like this
While other folks are makin’ love, we’re just makin’ do
If you won’t be my number one, number two on you
Well, if you won’t be my number one, number two on you
Out the back door down the path, you old two-timer you
Well who says you go run and play, while I go boo hoo hoo
If you won’t be my number one, number two on you
Oh there ain’t a claw in all the world, enough to scratch your itch
If lonely hours and whisky sours were gold, then I’d be rich
Well who says you hang out till one, while I stay up till two
If you won’t be my number one, number two on you
Well, if you won’t be my number one, number two on you
Out the back door down the path, you old two-timer you
While other folks are makin’ love, we’re just makin’ do
If you won’t be my number one, number two on you
I was told Roger had tons of half written songs like that which were never recorded/released. There are even albums in the vaults of unreleased Roger albums, I hope someday they release them. The problem is the licensing is INSANE to deal with. Try to find the people who own the publishing, rights, performed on an album from 1967 - not easy. Then add to that estates and copyright laws. The law can be an awful thing when it comes down to fans wanting more of their favorite artists.
In writing the book, a certain publishing company decided any lyrical references had to be removed or paid for (big bucks, especially for a 'po boy from Winnipeg who spent almost four years living off his credit card). I had to yank a ton of stories unfortunately that mentioned lyrics. Even one word references like "trailers" had to be removed. I couldn't even explain in the book why the lyrics were yanked, if I did, that company told me they would sue me for slander. I didn't realize the truth is considered slander until this experience. The real kick in the pants was that they didn't tell me this info until a few days before we went to press although they had at least six months notice.
Hopefully since I didn't mention the name of that four letter company, they won't sue me for telling that story here.
Like I said, licensing, permissions and all that stuff can be difficult. That's why it's so nice to have this Internet thing, cut & paste is a great tool.
You Tube is also an excellent way to find obscure stuff that will never be released for legal purchase.
Another point, for some time Roger was without a recording contract so us fans have the most to lose from those years because he was writing. Lots of stuff left unrecorded, even unpublished. It's sad.
If you don't have it already, you got to check out Roger's 1970 album, and the stuff right through the 70s. That's my favorite era anyway. Not a lot of hits, but his lesser known material is easily as good as the hits, you just need to listen to them a few times. This was when Roger quit the pills (because people found out they were bad for you) and moved on to the other things that people thought were good for you. Ah, the 70s. Too bad I spent the 70s in diapers and grade school. I was born 20 years too late.
...
Old Toy Trains by: Roger Miller
Old toy trains, little toy tracks
Little toy drums coming from a sack
Carried by a man dressed in white and red
Little boy, don't you think it's time you were in bed?
Close your eyes
Listen to the skies
All is calm, all is well
Soon you'll hear Kris Kringle and the jingle bells
Bringin' old toy trains, little toy tracks
Little toy drums coming from a sack
Carried by a man dressed in white and red
Little boy, don't you think it's time you were in bed?
Close your eyes
Listen to the skies
All is calm, all is well
Soon you'll hear Kris Kringle and the jingle bells
Bringin' old toy trains, little toy tracks
Little toy drums coming from a sack
Carried by a man dressed in white and red
Little boy, don't you think it's time you were in bed?